Is it too much to ask for the head of a real estate attorney on a pike? Probably.

Whatever. I’m getting used to the constant tension in my neck and back. I don’t really need to be able to turn my head to the left anyway.

You know how I like permanent objects that look like disposable objects, like these to-go containers. If these were ceramic, they’d cost $723 apiece, but since they’re just BPA-free polypropylene, regular schmoes can actually afford them.

They green one in particular looks like it would be the perfect size for storing the heart of a real estate lawyer after it’s ripped from her chest.