My potholders are funky. And not in a boogie-oogie-oogie way.
No, my potholders are nasty. They’re nasty-ass. They’re naaaaasty. They’re so nasty, they have to call Janet “Ms. Jackson.”
That’s why I need fun oven mitts.
I would take either of the mitts to the right or left. To the left, Marimekko, Finnish kings of colorful botanical prints. (Mitts from FinnStyle, obviously.)
To the right, Anthropologie. Everything they make is too cute for fucking words. Also expensive, so an oven mitt is probably my best shot at getting some Anthropologie into the kitchen.
In case anyone is planning ahead for my birthday (helpful hint: I share it with Jesus) and wanted to get me some oven mitts, here, for your edification, is a mitt that I absolutely DO NOT WANT. I’m disappointed in you, Sur La Table.
Thursday Night Smackdown 
Okay, I feel really trashy now, looking at my burnt & stained pot holders.
Mine say “Arkansas Department of Corrections” on ’em. No shit. The prison print shop silk-screens them and they give them away as promotional things at conventions, etc. I have a drawerful. And they’re bright blaze orange. I defy anyone to come up with worse potholders than that.
Damn.. Marimekko pot holders? Those are awesome. Mine are bad (but not as bad as Kay’s, yipes.. I want some of those, they must be a great conversation piece…)
I get shitloads of cat fur all over everything I cook anyway, so I may as well just deposit it directly via cat oven mitt, right?
Kidding, sort of. I definitely have to carefully inspect everything I photograph, though, because en route from the kitchen to the table with the EGO lights, a pet hair of some type always manages to float onto the plate, and I never notice it days later when I try to upload the photos. Lame.
syd, my pot holders are so disgusting that other life forms are starting to grow on them.
kay, THAT IS AWESOME. i might have to hold a “worst potholder” competition around the holidays and give away a new set. you might already be the winner.
erika, aren’t they? i’ll probably end up getting some. the anthropologie are cute, but i don’t know if i’m that anthropologie-esque.
kristie, no. there is no good excuse for using the cat oven mitt.
i leave dog hair wherever i go. i deposit it on strangers. i like to think of how far my dogs’ hair has traveled.
I want D.O.C. pot holders! Do they sell them?
Wow, my husband wants the prison pot holders too. Granted, my current ones are stolen from my parents, so they have many more years of staining and burning than I’ve been able to inflict on them on my own.
My husband reminded me of something funny, speaking of sharing a birthday with Jesus…. I think it was Norm McDonald on a SNL sketch… “Happy Birthday Jesus, hope you like crap” re: a crappy holiday album of some sort. I read your blog to him out loud when he asks why I’m laughing.
Hey Kay, what kind of convention and promotions does a prison go to??? Conventions are generally for drumming up business. Why would a prison drum up business? I think this is great. You have the best pot holders. I love that they are blaze orange. Thanks for the grins.
Here’s another vote for WANTING the prison potholders.
hmmmm…i might have to hit up cafe press and come up with something. sure, they won’t be authentic, but no one has to know.
or else kay, you could make a pantload selling your extras to everyone.
Hey I live in Arkansas, so I want those DOC ones too. I sent in a photo of mine, which is PITIFUL. And OLD.