It’s a sunny Saturday morning, so you should probably be out and about. But in case you’re sprawled on your couch, all hungover from last night, here’s some amusement. You know, you’re not as young as you were; you can’t drink like that anymore.

–  When you say “Giant Penguin,” I get excited and expect a lot more. Bummer.

–  You’re never to young to be a giant dork.

–  I say we all chip in for this. Who’s with me?

–  Public eating is just so…”ethnic.” Also  a challenge for many of the fatter among us. Someone should write an article about THAT. Maybe I will.

–  Yes, this has already gone all viral and shit. No, it’s not the Olive Garden review from Grand Forks. And if you haven’t seen it yet, you should.

–  I love these fricking bunnies.

–  Babies are the new grown-ups. Also, doesn’t the name imply that it’s MADE of babies? IT’S BABIES! BABYCCINOS ARE MADE OF BABIES! You gotta tell the exchange!

–  Austria is the new America.

–  On one hand, I totally agree that we need words for these things. On the other hand, these sound less like Yiddish and more like German obscenities.

–  “This won’t be the first smoked-meat venture for Dion.” In other news, the debut album by my all-polka Guns n’ Roses tribute band is also called “Smoked Meat Venture.”