You know, because he’s nice and beefy, and Television Shark is hangry. Yes, even in my invalid state, I cannot stay away from The Amazing Race. Oh wait, that was Top Chef? Huh.

A few questions that perhaps the Magical Elves can answer:

  • Why Canada?
  • Why did they have to cook in 22 minutes AND use a mystery ingredient halfway through AND be in gondolas?
  • Since when are Canadian winter sportspersons qualified to judge the finals of a fine dining competition? Quoth one sportsperson: “The first thing I noticed was flavor.” A searing insight!
  • I am still correct in thinking that this is Top Chef, not Top Ice Carver, yes?
  • Is there anyone remaining for whom Sarah is sufferable? Didn’t think so.

And now, a health report.

After a visit to my primary care physician, another trip to the hospital and no less than four different attempts at managing the pain via ever-stronger prescription narcotics, I received the less-than-encouraging news from my doctor that I’m probably just experiencing a muscle spasm and should go to a physical therapist. I’m assuming that physical therapy is less effective when any movement causes level 10 pain, so I was a little doubtful.

So I called in the big guns: I happen to be friends with the Chief of Neurology at NYU who was happy to examine me and then persuade my doctor to at least get me an MRI and increase the dosages of my drugs before shuffling me off to PT.

That’s why I’ll be heading to Hoboken Medical Imaging tomorrow at the ungodly hour of 6:45AM. If there’s a rebellious disc in my spine, it will be swiftly pinpointed and subdued. I’m also a little worried that I may be Linsane in the Membrane, but I’m not sure if that shows up on an MRI. One step at a time.

And in the meantime, the latest cocktail of painkillers is definitely taking the edge off, although it does make typing and thinking a little difficult (so I apologize for any gaffes in this post, especially as Brian has gone to bed already and can’t proof it).

Thank you thank you for the good wishes in your comments and emails. I know you’ve been crossing your fingers for a few days already, but could you keep it up for one more?

Photo by Olivander.