I’ll take ’em. Vicodin, Percocet, syringes full of morphine, whatever. We’re going on two weeks of stabbing pain, ER visits, doctor’s visits, ultrasounds, x-rays, cups full of pee and shitty ineffective pain relievers.

I’ll be calling the doctor again in the morning to petition for yet another prescription for pain meds. I’ll expect a visit from the cops shortly thereafter, when my insurance company informs them that someone at this address is hording prescription drugs with intent to distribute. And I live within a couple hundred feet of an elementary school, so I gotta watch out.

Needless to say, I biffed on the Smackdown. I figure I deserve the night off from standing in front of the stove. Instead, I sat on the couch, watched Project Runway and tried not to feel too sorry for myself.

Fingers crossed for a definitive diagnosis and better pain management SOON. If you could all cross your fingers too, that would be great.