I’m fat.

No, really. I’m fat, quite fat. I’m not big boned and I don’t carry it well, so don’t try to placate me; my weight starts with the number “three” and I’m not nine feet tall.

I know that, from my writing, you probably think I’m a tall, leggy blonde. Well, I have to disabuse you of that notion: I am tall and leggy, but I’m very much a brunette. Also, fat.

And now I’ve opened myself to public shaming on the internet, yay!

After thirty-two years, I’m getting pretty tired of being fat. It’s hard to find nice pants or cute bras.ย  And as it turns out, fat people don’t get a lot of perqs in our society, so it’s not really doing anything for me.

So I’m stopping. As of this morning, Plan: Be Less Fat has been actualized.

Let me be clear: I’m a big proponent of health at any size, and I don’t want to be and will never be a skinny person; it’s not my build, that’s not the goal and it’s not really about the pants. But I’m not healthy, and all this fat is a side effect of that. I guess I should call it Plan: Good Health, but that’s not as catchy.

This isn’t going to turn into a diet blog or anything. For one, I still plan on consuming bacon and cheese and gimlets in moderation; I also don’t think of myself as being on a diet so much as trying to make life-long changes to my eating habits. (Things will of necessity get healthier around here, though.)

Anyway, I just thought the internet might want to know. Here’s to making it to a weight that starts with a “one”!