I came home from work today and threw my bag, a pile of mail, a newspaper and a balled-up cardigan on the kitchen table. There was ample room for them all and I thought to myself, “This table could stand to have some more shit heaped on it.”
The answer: placemats. Maybe then we would actually eat at the kitchen table rather than at barstools at the kitchen counter. (Right now, we don’t eat at the table because of all the crap on it.)
Below: The three main contenders.
Coloring placements! Featuring a NARWHAL! ‘Nuf said.
Pop-up placemats! Featuring spreads way nicer than the take-out pad Thai you’re sitting down to eat, cold and alone, as you watch Wheel of Fortune on mute while reading “Twilight.”
Judgmental placemats! You should try to have foods on your place that match multiple colors on this Pantone-inspired placement for optimal health. I bet if you picked apart all the individual components of your Whopper with Cheese, you’d come close.
Thursday Night Smackdown 
I love the coloring placemats. Reminds me of the old laminated home made placemats my son made in preschool.
I’m a sucker for Pimpernel mats though…
The last one is cute. I could see it going down well with hipsters round here.
Well, aesthetically speaking, the last one is totally awesome, in my own opinion. However, the first one incorporates family interaction and participation of art and creativity into meal time…which, ultimately, trumps everything else in the world…unless you disagree, in which case, I agree with whatever you think. :o)
“Featuring spreads way nicer than the take-out pad Thai you’re sitting down to eat, cold and alone, as you watch Wheel of Fortune on mute while reading “Twilight.”
Dear god, do you have a spy camera set up in my apartment?!
Yeah, the last one is cute. Until you realize how judgy they are being.
Can you just eat the placemat for optimal health?