Just so you know, I’ll be spending this evening at a wine bar in lower Manhattan listening to Aimee Mann perform. And thank god it’s at a wine bar, because I went running for the first time since 2001 yesterday and EVERYTHING HURTS. The wine, she is needed.

I know this is called “Awesome Shit That I Want,” but sometimes the definition of “awesome” downshifts to “cute” or “aww” or “hey look, a thing I can afford!” I especially love Etsy for being chock full o’ cute things that I want and can afford. (I’m looking at you, bowls with hats.) (Although I still love you. Call me!)

I think having this in my kitchen would make me a happier camper in the morning, especially if I could wallpaper an entire wall with them. At least, it would make me as happy a camper as it is possible to make me in the morning, which really is only one step above “climb clock tower with rifle.” But still. It would help. Of course, I don’t have any walls in my kitchen so that’s a drawback, but I’m sure I could figure something out.

It is nice to know that if I DID have a wall in my kitchen I COULD wallpaper it because thesmalljoys sells you the file, letting you print it off yourself, so you could print hundreds, nay thousands of copies.

If you had a printer. Which I don’t. Drawback #2. That’s why this is something I want as opposed to something I already have.

BONUS THING! I want it, but feel like I could make it myself. That doesn’t change the fact that it makes me very happy that someone is making and selling bacon jam for those of us lacking the wherewithall or with enough common sense not to try it ourselves. (Thanks for spotting it, astute reader Karen!) It’s bacon! And onions! And balsamic vinegar! And you can spread it! Genius.