…that Cheap Ass Monday is canceled tonight.

Mostly, I write about food here. Sometimes, I write about how I’m doing, although it’s usually in the context of food. Right now, it’s all I can do to write about how I’m doing, food or no food. Actually, right now it’s about all I can do to keep from crawling under my desk and hoping no one notices.

I’m glad the bacon cake had its desired effect of blowing all of your fucking minds. I’m sorry I can’t bring you something equally earth-shattering tonight, because the truth is that I am not doing well. Not well at all. Whatever form of bipolarity this is, it is a vicious uncontrollable beast. One medication causes my lady parts to stop working. Another medication worsens the symptoms it’s supposed to be helping, although this is somehow “not abnormal” and I should just “get through it” until the magical switch flips and the rainbows start to fly out of my ass. I CAN’T WAIT because I have been “getting through” this round for 11 weeks now. If anything, the rainbows are burrowing into my ass, causing occasional nausea along with everything else.


It is only through the assistance of tranquilizers that I make it through the day and even they don’t make things normal, they just enable me to fool others into thinking I am a normal human being. And you know what all of this is? It’s fucking TIRING.

SO. There will be no food tonight, because this blog should be fun and not a source of added stress because OH MY GOD I HAVE TO BE FUNNY. There will be food later this week. There will be Top Chef.* But there will not be anything tonight, because I need to do anything I can to take a fucking break before my head actually explodes. Which would not be pretty because I don’t know if there’s even any gray matter left in there, just pathetic deformed neurons firing neurotransmitters aimlessly and uselessly into the ether.

*FABIO! is my Facebook friend now, so TAKE THAT.