Who doesn’t like a simple roast chicken, especially when you throw carrots, blue potatoes, onions and day-old bread cubes underneath so they roast basted in delicious chicken-y juices? Nobody. And nobody does it better than my husband, who is the chicken master. Chickens panic at the very mention of his terrifying name.* Granted, this has nothing to do with chicken; I was just taunting you with my dinner. Because it was really good.
But if you want to learn about poundcake and passionfruit curd, you’re also fucked.
Kidding! Recipes below. You know how I love to scare you like that.
adapted from Dorie Greenspan’s Baking
3 sticks unsalted butter, softened but still cool
1 1/2 c. sugar
6 large eggs, room temperature
1 tsp. good vanilla
1 1/2 tsp. pure orange oil
1 tbsp. orange zest
3 c. AP flour
1 1/2 baking powder
2 tsp. ground coriander
1/4 tsp. salt
NOTE: You can omit the orange and coriander and have a plain buttery poundcake, or add whatever flavor agents you want. Heh, that makes the flavors sound kinda like spies. Synchronize your watches, boys, the lemon and ginger are going in.
Pre-heat the oven to 325. Whisk the flour, baking powder, coriander and salt together in a medium bowl. Butter a 9×5 inch loaf pan.
I know, the “softened but still cool thing” seems like an oxymoron. What you need here is butter that holds its shape, but that you can dent with gentle pressure. There’s going to be a lot of beating and creaming, so butter that’s at too high a temperature will just get soft and greasy.
Beat the butter and sugar at medium-high speed until light and creamy, a good 5 minutes, scraping down the bowl as needed. You could do this by hand, but that would be crazy.
Reduce the beater speed to medium and add the eggs one at a time, beat for 1-2 minutes between each addition and again with the scraping down. Add the vanilla, zest and orange oil.
Reduce the beater speed to low (or switch to hand mixing) and mix in the dry ingredients until they’re just incorporated. Once the last trace of flour is gone, stop mixing.
Dump the batter into the greased pan, filling it 2/3 full. You’ll have a little left over; either fill a mini pan of some kind, eat the uncooked batter (like you wouldn’t do it) or dump it. I could have figured out how to scale the recipe down by 1/12, but, you know, fuck that.
Bake for a total of 80-90 minutes. Check on it after 45 minutes or so and put a foil tent over it if it’s getting more brown than you’d like. Let it cool in the pan for 5 minutes and turn it out onto a cooling rack to complete cooling.
It really is better if you wrap the cooled cake in plastic wrap and eat it the next day.
You want some damn poundcake pr0n? Here’s your poundcake. Behold my breakfast, suckas.
Keep going for the curd recipe. Get an energy drink if you need.
adapted from my own fucking head
1 whole egg
4 egg yolks
1/3 c. sugar
4 tbsp. unsalted butter (in chunks, not melted)
1/2 c. passionfruit puree
3 tbsp. heavy cream
In a non-reactive saucepan, whisk the eggs and sugar until combined. Stir in the passionfruit and add the butter. Heat the mixture over low heat, stirring constantly until it thickens visibly and coats the back of a spoon. You could probably take the temperature or something, I think you’re shooting for 170ish?, but I just cook it until it thickens up like cheese sauce.
Strain the mix into a bowl to get out any eggs bits that might have scrambled. Whisk in the heavy cream. Serve hot, tepid, cold, or anything in between.