To whom it may concern: If you want to buy this marvelous machine for me, I will name it after you Coors Stadium-style. So if you’ve always wanted to see a “Jim Smith Memorial” something or other, you’ve come to the right place.
Behold, and cringe before its glory: A machine that dispenses sausage gravy! Hopefully, someone will invent a counter-sized version soon – in which case screw you, toaster, I never needed you anyway – but in the meantime I am perfectly willing to clear out the den to accommodate the full-size version.
If you act to procure me one within the next 20 minutes, I will ALSO name the “Biscuits in a Bowl” dispenser after you at no extra charge.
Who knows what other kinds of wonderful machine are lurking in the background, waiting for you to buy them for me so I can name them after you? Granted, I’ve never actually been to a Bob Evans. But it’s SAUSAGE GRAVY, people – how bad can it be? Do NOT underestimate my love of sausage gravy on a biscuit. As the machine itself states, this is the way to “Start your day right!”
Thank you, thank you, Ilovethisworld.com for bringing this to my attention.
Thursday Night Smackdown 
How much of a bad person am I that I want to use it to put gravy on my popcorn?
I love biscuits and gravy, but that makes me want to vomit. And I imagine the vomit would look much like the substance extruded by that unnatural machine.
I’ve been craving grits and gravy…but not from that thing; blech!
vickylee and kristin, what’s so interesting about your comments is that i think they’re somehow both correct.
That. is. nasty. I can imagine the can that the gravy comes in for the 7-11 employee to happily dispense into the “clean” machine. Bleh.
Ya know, I have been to an actual Bob Evans – before it closed – and I’ve gotta tell you, “fresh,” their sausage gravy, uh, it ain’t all that. I – midwestern girl that I am – can do and have done much MUCH better with one eye still closed in not-quite-awakeness. Heck, my kid was doing better sausage gravy & biscuits when he was in high school. Whatever comes out of that, that, monstrosity is the stuff of culinary nighmares.
That being said, I would so try it.
On Demand sausage gravy? Hell yeah. Heh.
Dear God. Please save us. Now.
Its Armageddon………aahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
toy lady, THAT’S WHAT I’M SAYING. everybody, listen to her. yes, any of could probably better sausage gravy with both hands tied behind our backs and no actual sausage. but THIS sausage gravy is ON DEMAND.
and that makes all the difference.
General: O M G *gag* there’s some poor soul that will pour that into a cup like a cappuchino…
ToyLady: Bob Evans still exists, FYI. look for them on your next drive up the east coast
TSQ75 – I know B.E. still exists – they just closed down the restaurant around the corner from me a couple of years back. It’s a Famous Dave’s now.