That chunky grayish liquid dripping out of my left ear? Is my brain. For today, I watched six entire episodes of an America’s Next Top Model marathon. Then, during a bathroom break, I looked into the mirror and tried to “smile with my eyes.” You know, to see if I have what it takes to be America’s Next Top Model. And now I have a headache and am possibly cross-eyed, so the answer, apparently, is “no.” It seems that I suffer from a severe dearth of fierceness, and lack the ability to “bring it” almost entirely.
This post is brought to you by my need to keep up with the requirements of NaBloPoMo, because after watching all that reality television I ran out of both time and the will to write up the roundup of champagne flutes I’d been planning. To make it food-related, here’s what I ate today: a bowl of Kashi Heart-to-Heart cereal, a Little Debbie Fudge brownie with a glass of milk, and my Father-in-Law’s chicken stir-fry, made with “Mr. Yoshida’s Stir Fry Sauce” and including corn kernels because that’s what Grandma Ruth wanted.
Thursday Night Smackdown 
Thank god that was just bits of brain. I was afeared that it was the next frig.
Much less gross this way.
Oh, ANTM. This guy does the best synopses of this show and TyTy’s Jesus complex.
Oh come on, I’m sure you’re more than capable of taking. it. to. the. next. level. All’s you gotta do is be all busted up and broken down baby doll. Or whatevs 🙂
(Tip for smiling with the eyes: cover your mouth and nose with an index card while practicing)
I love ANTM precisely because I could never be on it. There’s something very rewarding about watching pretty people cry.
I also suffer from a lack of ability to ‘bring it’ and I almost never ‘work it’. In addition, I can’t remember the last time I ‘shook what my Momma gave me’.
(Thank you for the hearty laugh. It was very needed today!)
I also want to echo what Kate said and add that it’s almost equally rewarding to watch people who are standing around half naked and pouting at the camera, being made up to look like a zebra, dominatrix or Southern Belle and complaining all the while that no one takes them seriously. It makes me feel very superior.
yes!! sunday antm marathons! I passed an entire two months last fall when I had mono lying supine on my couch watching those antm marathons. I still watch them now, for old times sake.
If you can’t smile with your eyes, do you at least have some scrunched up, signature pose??