That chunky grayish liquid dripping out of my left ear? Is my brain. For today, I watched six entire episodes of an America’s Next Top Model marathon. Then, during a bathroom break, I looked into the mirror and tried to “smile with my eyes.” You know, to see if I have what it takes to be America’s Next Top Model. And now I have a headache and am possibly cross-eyed, so the answer, apparently, is “no.” It seems that I suffer from a severe dearth of fierceness, and lack the ability to “bring it” almost entirely.

This post is brought to you by my need to keep up with the requirements of NaBloPoMo, because after watching all that reality television I ran out of both time and the will to write up the roundup of champagne flutes I’d been planning. To make it food-related, here’s what I ate today: a bowl of Kashi Heart-to-Heart cereal, a Little Debbie Fudge brownie with a glass of milk, and my Father-in-Law’s chicken stir-fry, made with “Mr. Yoshida’s Stir Fry Sauce” and including corn kernels because that’s what Grandma Ruth wanted.