I have gone mildly insane again.* Thus, rather than cook an inexpensive meal tonight, I was forced to go to José Tejas (known to Massachusetts readers as The Border Café) and consume a “Gulf Coast Seafood Enchilada,” a mixture of teeny-tiny shrimp and crawfish wrapped up in flour tortillas and covered with a creamy, cheesy poblano sauce.
They did not cure my insanity, but god help me if they weren’t FRIGGING DELICIOUS. Also $6.99. Why thank you, sir, I enjoy those apples a great deal.
*If you do not care to read about insanity, skip directly to the end of the post for further instruction.
For those playing the smackdown insanity drinking game at home,* here is the replay:
- I can’t be on Paxil because it makes me a Crazie. (Anti-depressants can make some bipolar people bipolar-er, hence the last bout of insanity.)
- Without Paxil, it appears that I have anxiety and panic disorders on top of my garden-variety bipolarity, and Depakote (mood stabilizer for the bipolarity) doesn’t do jack shit for anxiety.
- Now that the last residue of Paxil has been flushed from my system, panic has kicked in WITH A VENGEANCE.**
- But I can’t go back on Paxil because it makes me a Crazie.
- I have become something of a human guinea pig as we try another drug that has not been approved by the FDA for anxiety or panic to treat the anxiety and panic.
- Also, Paxil is the devil.
ERGO, I am going on hiatus this week while hopefully, my neurotransmitters are beaten into submission once and for all. But lament not, because THE SMACKDOWN LIVES ON: cook eat FRET‘s Claudia, who despite living in Tennessee, is really quite a wonderful person, will be smacking it down right here, same bat day, same bat channel. She has promised to curse a great deal. If we ask very nicely in the comments, she may grace us with her luminescent presence for more than one post.
Other guests may be popping in to stoke the fires as well, so keep an eye out and try and be nice to them.
As a special offering to you, my dear readers, I vow that my first smackdown back will be a Thomas Keller recipe, which virtually guarantees failure on my end, and therefore the potential for high comedy.
See you in a week! Play nice.
* RULES: 1 gulp of beer for every psycho-pharmacological medication named, 2 gulps for every time I self-refer as “a Crazie,” 3 gulps every time I refer to Paxil as the devil, chug a whole beer when I say “transvaginal ultrasound.”
**This is the second time in as many weeks that some kind of freakish bodily function has kicked in WITH A VENGEANCE. I’m getting tired of typing it. Dear Bodily Functions: Do you have something against kicking in gradually? Please consider ceasing the vengeance. Sincerely, Me.
Kick it in the ass, Michelle. I’ll be looking forward to the Keller recipe!
Paxil IS the devil. My husband tried it, didn’t like it, and went off it. The withdrawal nearly killed me. Yes, I said me. The withdrawal symptoms consisted of vivid dreams, one of which was a dream that he was in a boxing match. I woke up to being seriously punched hard in the nose one night.
Keep eating those burritos and get yourself better, ‘kay?
Just stay off Effexor, it’s nasty stuff to come off of. Even worse than Paxil. I think I lived on Xanax when I was coming off it. It sucks trying to gets your meds just right. Hang in there and know we are rooting for you!
Take care of yourself! Glad to hear you’re off the Paxil. Hopefully the crazy-ass dreams have subsided? I hope you will find something else that works for you.
Take care, Michelle, I took Paxil as a teeneager and know the mind fuck that comes with it all too well. I’m sure Claudia’s potty mouth will take good care of us while you’re out.
Take care indeed Michelle. Feel free to email me offline. I too have the bipolar + panic/anxiety. whoo hoo. I have a had a lot of success with the med combo I’m currently on and I’m happy to share. 🙂
Good luck and we’ll be here when you get back!
Can’t you just enjoy a cocktail of doobies, Vicodin and chocolate milk? Does the trick for me.
i may live in nashville, tennessee – but i am nyc born and bred – all the fucking way and don’t you forget it…
i may live in nashville, tennessee – but i am nyc born and bred – all the fucking way and don’t you forget it…
Can’t wait to hear Claudia cuss her ass off.
Do what you gotta Michelle. You have a lot of people in your corner!
michelle, get fucking better… but i’m sure yelling that won’t make you get better faster, just take care of yourself… and i’m intrigued to see what claudia will do.
GD it has been a seriously tough time for you. Good Luck. And, I know Claudia can deliver the goods.
5-HTP saved my life. Look it up.
michelle-kick ass, girl-we’re with you all the way. (btw-a little crazy is always good!)
ps-@heather-my coffee came out my nose reading your post. i may take your recommendation under advisement-can i sub coffee for the choc milk?
Chamomille and proper breathing techniques, darling. Anxiety disappears once you start breathing properly. No shit! Take care of yourself.
Fucking crazie bullshizz. What is WITH that shit lately? It beat me down recently, too. And for the record, anxiety and panic SUCK ASS. I’m in your corner, Michelle. Maybe together we can beat it’s ass like Mohammad Ali or something.
I say, go cold turkey. The drugs are worse than the cure.
Whoah. Paxil. No kdding. I was on Paxil for a length of time several years ago. Never again.
Never again.
5-HTP. Not bad.
Take care, hope you find what you’re looking for 🙂 And $7 burritos? Yes please!
It’s not getting a whole lot easier for you anytime soon, is it? Full marks for still entertaining us in the meantime – well beyond the call of duty.
Hope you get the medication sorted out quickly, and as soon as you do – git yer ass right back here, d’ya hear me?!
Try taking a Beta Blocker like Toperol XL, you’ll only need a pediatric dose to stop panic attacks. Probably only 25 ml. It’s better than any anti anxiety drug out there…it’s actually for high blood pressure. Take care of yourself…someone posted about the breathing…it’s very important to breath in using your diaphram and let it out slowly through your mouth…
I hope this is helpful
I just found your blog and love it. I’ve also been on Paxil, and while it worked well, talk about weight gain. I switched to Celexa and have been OK. SSRI’s are tricky, they work differently for everyone.
But for anxiety, I found that the thing that worked the best for me was Buspar. And exercise (works out the adrenaline rush that causes anxiety/panic). Good luck to you!