There is no picture, because this item had been COMPLETELY CONSUMED by the time I was able to reach for the camera. There are only these 4 words, 4 words that should be more than enough, 4 words that under the transitive property of cake are themselves equivalent to a picture that is then equivalent to 1000 words.

Tres Leches Rum Cake

It is ooey. It is gooey. It is sticky and sweet and moist and creamy and delicious. It embodies the spirit of ten million drunk puppies playing with ten million drunk kittens in a field of cottonballs under gumdrop trees, takes that spirit and condenses it into one boozy, wondrous bite. And you make it like this…

Tres Leches Rum Cake
6 eggs, separated
2 c. sugar
2 c. all purpose flour + 2 tbsp. flour
2 tsp. baking powder
1/2 tsp. ground cinnamon
1/2 tsp. salt
1/2 c. whole milk
1 tbsp. unsalted butter
1 tsp. vanilla
4 tbsp. dark rum (you’ll use 1 tbsp. for the cake batter, and 3 tbsp. for the tres leches topping)
1 c. + 2 c. heavy cream
14 oz. sweetened condensed milk
12 oz. evaporated milk

Preheat your oven to 350.

In a standing mixer, beat the egg whites to soft peaks. With the mixer running, gradually pour in the sugar and beat to glossy, stiff peaks. Beat in the egg yolks one at a time.

Whisk 2 cups of the flour, baking powder, cinnamon and salt together in a small bowl; mix the milk, vanilla and 1 tablespoon of the rum together in another. On low speed, beat the flour mix into the eggs in two batches, alternating with the milk mix; try not to beat your lovely fluffy egg whites into oblivion. Use the butter and remaining 2 tablespoons of flour to coat a 13×9 inch baking pan, and pour in the batter. Rap on the counter a few times to get out any air bubbles. Bake for 30-32 minutes, until a toothpick stuck in the middle comes out clean.

While the cake is baking, pour 1 cup of the heavy cream, the evaporated and condensed milks and the other 3 tablespoons of rum into a blender. Whiz for 90 seconds, until the mixture is thick and frothy. Set aside.

When the cake comes out of the oven, immediately poke holes of varying depths all over it with a wooden skewer or toothpick. Take a few minutes to do this, as it will make a real difference in the finished cake. When you’re done a-pokin’, pour half the milk mix over the cake; let it absorb in a bit and then pour the rest over. Let the cake cool to room temperature, then cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate overnight.

When you’re ready to serve, whip the remaining 2 cups of cream to soft peaks; sweeten or add a drop of rum if you’d like. Spread the whipped cream over the cake and eat immediately and with much vigor.