The Archives
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10.24.08Thursday Night Smackdown: Keller! Finished! Thank you!I don't want to just come out and pat myself on the back but I? Fucking RULE. Thomas Keller. The French Laundry Goddamn Cookbook, none of that scaled-down pansy Bouchon bistro shit.* Black sea bass with spinach, parsnip puree and saffron vanilla sauce. One of the best fucking things I've ever put in my mouth. *I kid because I love. And because I can. Continue Reading...
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09.02.08The Dodge & Graham Horse and Pony Jamboree: Part 2Here's a man who really knows how to massage his meat. A barbecue in North Carolina isn't really a barbecue unless some part of a pig is being cooked, and the Horse and Pony Jamboree did not disappoint. Dodge (actual first name), the better other half of the HPJ, created an intensely flavorful pork shoulder, jazzing up a traditional Carolina vinegar-based marinade and mop with fresh and dried anaheim and poblano chiles. He'd also planned some spicy pan-fried black bean cakes and some kind of amuse bouche that involved lemongrass-flavored shrimp wrapped in dough and fried. I was skeptical, but as ...
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09.01.08The Dodge & Graham Horse and Pony Jamboree: Part 1I need something wide and shallow. Here's the exciting thing about this post: you'll get to feel like you're PART OF THE ACTION. No, I haven't invented smell-o-blogging or taste-o-blogging, but after spending almost 10 hours with Graham and Dodge, 2 chefs from the chi-chi Sanderling resort here on the Outer Banks of North Carolina, I think I can help you re-create the experience I had chronicling them. Here's how you do it: Buy a case of Miller Lite. Drink half of it, to get a good slosh on. After every photo caption in this post, yell drunkenly, "LIKE YOUR MOTHER!" and ...
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07.11.08Thursday Night Smackdown: Would you like to ride in my beautiful balloon?And so, the egg whites have been folded in ANGER!! Once again, it's hot as balls in New York City. Between that and the Tour De France - as I'm sure you all know today is the first mountainous stage, and the Tour chooses its champions where the mountains bear the snows of winter - I didn't want to tackle something overly complicated or arduous. But I did want to do something new, something I'd never made before. I was flipping through Chez Panisse Cooking when it hit me: SOUFFLE! More specifically, crab souffle with leeks and green onions, with a ...
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07.02.08The Great…e-SCAPE. Get it? You know, because there are scapes in thisYou don't get it at all, do you Steve? Sometimes I wish I could post in 3-D, because that peanut? Totally looks like it's poised to leap off the screen at you. That peanut will cut a bitch. I often bemoan the fact that I am too fucking lazy* to get up early enough to make it to the Greenmarket in time for quickly snatched up, fleeting seasonal delicacies like ramps and garlic scapes. I salivate over other people's beautiful photos, promise myself I'll go this coming Saturday and then stay up late on Friday reading back issues of Love ...
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04.11.08Friday Night Smackdown: Welcome, Fish OverlordsThis red snapper wants to be taken to your leader. Tonight, a special edition cranky and overtired Friday Night Smackdown: Whole fish baked in a salt crust from Cooking with Jamie by everyone's favorite British scruffmuffin, Jamie Oliver. Because it's a method I've been wanting to try, and it seemed like a pretty straightforward dish to prepare after a long day on the road. Cue ominous strings of foreshadowing. Continue Reading...
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03.31.08Fish balls, fish balls; eat them up. Yum!Did you know: If you want to take your fish balls out to the movies, you DON'T HAVE TO PAY to get them in! What a deal! Say someone challenged you to come up with a dish involving your choice of seafood, lime and coconut. You'd probably come up with something a lot like this, I'm sure: coconut rice and yellowtail suckers with a trio of spicy lime dipping sauces. Because when people think "fish," they think "lollipop," right? Okay, I know, it sounds freaky and maybe a little bit gross. It's just that the ...
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03.20.08Thursday Night Smackdown: Thomas Keller is a hardcore motherf*cker.The news said there was a 65% chance of vampires, so I figured better safe than sorry. Tonight: Thomas Keller's The French Laundry Cookbook (cue foreboding music) I tried to keep the title clean, in case, you know, your frigging kids are reading over your shoulder (go to bed). I'm in a bit of a mood, you see, because Thomas Keller has roundly defeated us with his precise ways and time consuming techniques and bizarre use of hard-boiled egg yolks. How does the man get a single dish out of his kitchen - a phalanx of oompa loompas? Because ...
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03.13.08a thursday night smackdown of questionable methodologyIt's not meat! Tonight's Smackdown comes to us from Creole by Babette de Rozieres, a beautifully photographed collection of 160 classic and not-so classic creole recipes. On the menu: Creole Seafood Risotto. On the surface, this dish seems like a total winner: shrimp, scallops, and fish, risotto finished with some creme fraiche, saffron and scotch bonnet peppers bringing the creole mojo, and more shallots (8) than I have ever used in a single dish (It serves 4. So, 2 shallots per person. Babette doesn't fuck around with shallots.). Although the flavor is ultimately a winner, a tragic ...
...as of late
- You are so not off the hook
- 2008, Over and Out
- Weekend Frig: Yes, I am 12 Years Old
- Waiting for Santa
- Waterloo du patisserie, deuxieme
- Waterloo du patisserie, le premiere part.
- Cheap Ass Monday: Cuddle up with a big bowl of Cheerios
- I didn’t have a single drink, ocifer.
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