The Archives
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12.21.08I didn’t have a single drink, ocifer.Sometimes Smackdowns don't work out as well as I'd like and that's okay, I love them all just the same. Well, except for this one. Oh, and this one; this one was just the nastiest one of the year and I repudiate it completely. But all the other ones, I love just the same. Especially when they leave me with leftover custard sauce. Because what is leftover custard sauce, really, other than inchoate ice cream waiting to be made into ice cream? Continue Reading...
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11.21.08Thursday Night Smackdown: I’m a grown up and I do what I wantAnd that includes eating Sticky Toffee Pudding for dinner. Which I just did, and I could not possibly be less sorry. In fact, I'm feeling so magnanimous after eating it that I'm willing to overlook the ridiculous length of this book's title AND the fact that (as listed on Amazon) it has TWO COLONS: Desserts by the Yard: From Brooklyn to Beverly Hills: Recipes from the Sweetest Life Ever, by Sherry Yard (GET IT?), official pastry chef of Wolfgang Puck's Spago empire. I Wonder: Are all the colons necessary?: A grammatical conundrum: That I can top: Suck on that. Wow, ...
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11.17.08Cheap Ass Monday: Which way to the bread line?Thank god for Cheap Ass Monday, which I predict will soon become "Cheap Ass Every Damn Day" because the hourly rates of New York City psychiatrists are INSANE. Nationally known expert, schmexpert; I'll need another drug just to counteract the shock of the bills. I've totally gone down the wrong path in life: I should have become a psychiatrist. Based on the hourly rate of the guy I'm seeing for a second opinion this Friday, I could see four patients a week and still be making hundreds more than I do in my current job. It's too bad you have ...
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11.15.08Smackhead, Revisited: You can’t rush reverse osmosisYes, I know I said I was going to make this chicken on Friday night. But Friday nights I'm usually too beat to deal with all the cooking and photographing and writing Claudia's comment in the post postponing this shamed me into giving the chicken another day to salt, EVEN THOUGH the cookbook itself said "one to three days", not "one day is completely unacceptable and offensive why would you even think such a thing." Thus, tonight found me eating The Zuni Cafe Cookbook's roast chicken with some celery root-potato puree courtesy of Bittman (there's a tenth anniversary edition, it's red ...
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11.10.08Cheap Ass Monday: Roughage! Get your roughage here!I know, the post title isn't very exciting or funny or clever. Don't blame me, blame the three and a half hour meeting I had this afternoon. Don't we go to work at non-profits so we don't have to sit through three and a half hour meetings? You pay me less, I wear comfy shoes to work and don't deal with meetings; that is the deal, no? Also this particular meeting was three and a half hours, did I mention that? It is, therefore, not surprising that when I got home I wanted something quick, warm ...
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11.07.08Thursday Night Smackdown: Liver is just as offal as I thoughtYeah, I know, some people pronounce it "OH-ffal." I don't. It's punnier that way. Continue Reading...
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11.04.08Cheap Ass Monday: Brown Paper Packages Tied Up With StringIf you're here looking for a sub-$5 meal idea, I have to be up front with you and say that I actually have no idea how much this dinner costs. Maybe you can do it for $5, maybe it costs $100, I don't know. I just know that for me, it was cheap as free because it was made entirely of random food items that were sitting around and for which I had no plans. Food items that, I might add, comprise some of my all-time favorite edibles: farro, winter squash, onions, cheese and hazelnuts. A warm, comforting, filling ...
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11.01.08Thursday Night Smackdown: Kung! Pow! Chicken! Zap!Clearly, although my medications seem to be working and I'm a functional human being, things are not 100% normal, or else I would not be feeling the irrational hatred of Comcast, NetGear, BlueHost, Firefox, Apple, WordPress 2.5.1 and every other technological entity that has erected a barrier between me and this post: flames, flames on the side of my face. It's an unholy hatred, one that makes me want to throw a cast-iron skillet at the iMac. Which I will refrain from doing only for the skillet's sake, because it's seasoned really nicely and I'd hate to have to ...
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09.29.08International House of Cheap Ass MondayAlternate Title: I'll dutch your baby anytime, hot stuff.* *Because a dutch baby is a kind of big, fluffy baked pancake often filled with apples. Not because I'm trying to come on to you. Although if I knew you, I'm sure I TOTALLY would. Continue Reading...
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09.17.08The Texas Weiner Tour of Aught-Eight, Part the FirstThis anthropomorphic hot dog is wearing chaps and asking for "one all the way." Just be glad I didn't take pictures of the BDSM-themed cups. Total number of hot dogs consumed: 8 Total cups of birch and/or root beer consumed: 3 Total number of weiner-related "jokes" made by Brian and his brother: 10 hundred thousand million Total number of times they made me want to stab myself in the ear with a plastic butter knife: 10 hundred thousand million and one Knowing that I brought it all upon myself: Priceless Continue Reading...
...as of late
- You are so not off the hook
- 2008, Over and Out
- Weekend Frig: Yes, I am 12 Years Old
- Waiting for Santa
- Waterloo du patisserie, deuxieme
- Waterloo du patisserie, le premiere part.
- Cheap Ass Monday: Cuddle up with a big bowl of Cheerios
- I didn’t have a single drink, ocifer.
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