The Big Stomach Wave Makes the Love 18 Jun 08

What does it all mean? Hell if I know. All of today’s captions are brought to you by the nutjobs who found TNS via google. This one’s for you, Mr. or Ms. “Upside Down Belly Button.”

Really, what was this person looking for? “The big stomach wave makes the love”? Is it some grody thing that I’m naive for not knowing? If so, I’d like to continue on in my blissful ignorance.

A few weeks ago the New York Times Wednesday food section had a feature article on ricotta that included instructions for making it yourself, and I’ve been brooding over it ever since, wanting to make it. I could resist no longer, so I decided dinner tonight would be ricotta crostini. It’s a win-win-win: I love cheese, I love nibblies, and I love dinner. Success!

I ended up making two savory crostini - one with prosciutto and thyme, one with a sweet and spicy quick tomato compote - and one sweet, with honey, walnuts and cardamom. All were dinner worthy, and all will re-appear on my table. Quoth Brian, “It’s like crack!”

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In which people get the animal fats they want and deserve. 07 Jun 08

All cow fat, all the time.

Let everyone’s collective panties be unbunched: tofu doesn’t live here any more.

I’m not giving up on integrating more vegetarian or vegan meals into my repertoire, but I am giving up on frankenfoods like tofu. It’s still not in the same category as truly unearthly “foods” like quorn, but my kitchen doesn’t need it. Healthy vegetarian foods are easily assembled using whole, fresh ingredients.

That’s not what this is about, though. Well, at least the “healthy” part: this is real deal mac and cheese, the kind made with a classic butter-and-flour roux, milk that has been expelled from a real live cow and not extruded from a bean of some kind, and a shit-ton of cheese. And it feels GOOD, SO GOOD, right up to and including the moment that the final particle of arterial plaque settles in your carotid artery, stopping all bloodflow to the brain.

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Strawberry Shortcake After Dark 29 Apr 08

Hey you…you like-a the berries?  Come closer, I give you a berry.

I was not in Whole Foods today to buy strawberries, I was there to buy a pork product for this Thursday.  No, I will not specify beyond that; I’ve already said too much and will now have to reach through the internet and kill you.  But as I was walking through the produce section, the berries launched a full-on nasal assault with their sweet fragrance to which I succumbed instantly.  Because strawberries are the shit.

I knew immediately that I wanted to make a quick but grown-up strawberry shortcake: black-pepper buttermilk biscuits, strawberries macerated in balsamic vinegar and honey-sweetened mascarpone.  Can I get a hell yeah?

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Thursday Night Smackdown: GOD DAMN IT 03 Apr 08

Step one: Cut a hole in the box.

MOTHERFUCKERRRRR.

I’m sorry, but I had to get that out of the way. I burned the HOLY HELL out of my right middle finger pulling a burning hot pan out of a 425 degree oven. THROUGH THE GODDAMN POTHOLDER. Not only am I right-handed, but that’s my prime birding finger, y’all. So you’ll have to excuse a shorter-than-usual post and some sub-par photos. I’m working one handed here, and it’s not because I’m doing anything fun with the other one.

Still, I managed to power through and produce saffron chicken with spring onions, snap peas and pea shoots and parmesan pudding, from Susan Goin’s Sunday Suppers at Lucques. You heard that right: cheese pudding. It was almost good enough to make me forget the throbbing pain in my finger. Almost.

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i dare say, that is a dreadfully good sandwich. 10 Mar 08

Red sky in the morning, vegetarians take warning.

I guess I could have put something prettier above the fold, but I want people to know what they’re getting into here: a great big hunk of cow. More specifically, a full steakhouse on a bun. Steak, onions, stinky cheese, butter, spinach, the whole nine yards. Stuffed first into a bun, and then down my gullet. And then I called for the humidor and settled into my Louis XIV wingback to enjoy a fine single malt and peruse the latest issue of Angioplasty Afficionado. Tally fucking ho, my good chap!

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Channeling Rachael Ray: Savory Bread Pudding with Faux-mesco 18 Feb 08

None of these ingredients is in the Faux-Romesco sauce. Did I just blow your fucking mind?!?

I’ve always been attracted to mixes of sweet and savory, both combinations of the two or flipping recipes around - making sweet versions of things that are usually savory, and vice-versa. Not everything lends itself to this treatment - there have been some attempts whose names shall not be mentioned - but it can be a great way to get yourself out of a cooking rut. One of my all-time favorite flips is savory bread pudding.

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Restaurant Re-creations: The Ugly American 18 Feb 08

We built this sandwich on rock and roll.

Downtown Jersey City used to have a little restaurant called Melt whose specialty was grilled cheese sandwiches;  it may not surprise you that grilled cheese is one of my favorite things.  Unfortunately, it was only around for about a year before it fell victim to urban neighborhood mid-gentrification roulette:  which cutesy niche shop will close next, and which will make it? Stay tuned!

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Sometimes you feel like a nut. 29 Jan 08

And sometimes you *really* feel like a nut.

Today was supposed to be leftovers for lunch day, as there is a container of blackened tilapia with poblano rajas and cream with my name on it in the fridge. Unfortunately (1) I woke up feeling like my head was being slowly crushed in a powerful, needle-lined vise, and I couldn’t make myself get on the subway to go to work, and (2) we don’t have a microwave at home. Plus, no matter how good the fish/poblano/cream combo is (and it is), I just wasn’t feeling the fish for my first post-headache meal this afternoon.

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