The Dodge & Graham Horse and Pony Jamboree: Part 1 01 Sep 08

I need something wide and shallow.

Here’s the exciting thing about this post: you’ll get to feel like you’re PART OF THE ACTION.  No, I haven’t invented smell-o-blogging or taste-o-blogging, but after spending almost 10 hours with Graham and Dodge, 2 chefs from the chi-chi Sanderling resort here on the Outer Banks of North Carolina, I think I can help you re-create the experience I had chronicling them.

Here’s how you do it: Buy a case of Miller Lite.  Drink half of it, to get a good slosh on.  After every photo caption in this post, yell drunkenly, “LIKE YOUR MOTHER!” and drink another beer.*

Also, make delicious, spicy honey-glazed grilled shrimp.

*As often as possible, there things that were actually said.

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Guess what this is. No really, guess. 25 Jun 08

If you look at the categories or URL then you are a FILTHY CHEATER.

It’s refreshing, light, fruity but tart, utterly irresistible. It looks so civilized, doesn’t it? Like something you would serve to the ladies who lunch when they come over for the garden party benefiting the foundation one of them started to purchase wheeled carts for paralyzed needy dachshunds. I almost don’t want to tell you what it really is, because I don’t want to damage my reputation as ONE CLASSY BITCH.

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In which people get the animal fats they want and deserve. 07 Jun 08

All cow fat, all the time.

Let everyone’s collective panties be unbunched: tofu doesn’t live here any more.

I’m not giving up on integrating more vegetarian or vegan meals into my repertoire, but I am giving up on frankenfoods like tofu. It’s still not in the same category as truly unearthly “foods” like quorn, but my kitchen doesn’t need it. Healthy vegetarian foods are easily assembled using whole, fresh ingredients.

That’s not what this is about, though. Well, at least the “healthy” part: this is real deal mac and cheese, the kind made with a classic butter-and-flour roux, milk that has been expelled from a real live cow and not extruded from a bean of some kind, and a shit-ton of cheese. And it feels GOOD, SO GOOD, right up to and including the moment that the final particle of arterial plaque settles in your carotid artery, stopping all bloodflow to the brain.

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Smoke-a-Thon 2008: The Porkening 27 May 08

Pictures here courtesy of The Girl Who Ate Everything. Olives and cake courtesy of No Recipes. Meat coma courtesy of 60.21 pounds of pork.*

More pics and recipes coming when we recover from the aftermath. More pix after the jump.

*Which means: Evil Chef Mom, you win! Email me the address where I should send your prize. Everyone else: how big do you think my refrigerator is? You’re all nuts.

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