Awesome Shit That I Want Monday

Is it too much to ask for the head of a real estate attorney on a pike? Probably.

Whatever. I’m getting used to the constant tension in my neck and back. I don’t really need to be able to turn my head to the left anyway.

You know how I like permanent objects that look like disposable objects, like these to-go containers. If these were ceramic, they’d cost $723 apiece, but since they’re just BPA-free polypropylene, regular schmoes can actually afford them.

They green one in particular looks like it would be the perfect size for storing the heart of a real estate lawyer after it’s ripped from her chest.


12 thoughts on “Awesome Shit That I Want Monday

  1. ‘The first thing we do, let’s kill all the lawyers.’ – Dick The Butcher : Henry VI, Part II by a little known playwright named William Shakespeare. See, even in the 1500 and 1600’s lawyers were a pain in the ass! Your line about having their heads on a pike reminded me of this.

  2. Seriously, law schools are turning into diploma mills and setting new lawyers up to be rabid ambulance chasers.

  3. You have my sympathy! Just over a year ago, we were through the process of selling one house, and most of they way through the process of buying our new house when we discovered, quite by accident, that our lawyer was in the process of being disbarred!!

  4. Michelle, yes, everything did work out but it was a *very* stressful few days before the close! I still get knots in my stomach when I think about it!

  5. I’m buying a house. Allegedly, we close on Friday. We’ve been trying to schedule a TIME for about a week, and the damn real estate lawyer won’t get back to me.

    You can add him to your pike collection too.

  6. I hope your absence this week means that you’ve managed to close on the sale of your place and you’re in the process of moving. Otherwise, the only possible scenario is that you’ve killed the real estate attorney, either landing yourself in jail or being honored for you public service.

  7. Hello,hope moving stress etc.not too vile.miss your posts,(no pressure or anything!….)seriously ,hope you are alright.mandy

  8. What is the difference between a lawyer and a doberman?…….wingtips!

    If you were to throw two lawyers off the Empire State Building….one 6’4″ 220# and the second one 5’4″ 150#, which one would hit the sidewalk first?…….who cares!

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