Good day, sir. I SAID GOOD DAY.
I am selling my apartment, job hunting, looking for a rental and have had the single busiest week I may have had at work, ever. Mostly BY CHOICE. Because I have a problem.
Is there anything else I can do to throw my life into complete upheaval? Get a divorce? Adopt several Chinese babies? Start smoking, so I can quit smoking? BECAUSE I WILL DO IT.
I didn’t cook AT ALL this week because of Threat Level Red Overworkedness, but I couldn’t bring myself to waste the duck legs, bottle of port and $8 worth of Jerusalem artichokes I’d bought for the Smackdown. I made the Jerusalem artichoke soup with mushroom puree and duck ragout tonight from Gordon Ramsay’s Maze tonight, instead.
Completely out of sync with the season? Yes. Completely amazing? Offensively so.
I apologize that my killer fatigue means that this post will be written entirely in sentence fragments, haiku and/or non-sequiturs. If I can even eke that out before I fall alseep sitting at the kitchen table.
What smells better than duck braising in port and veal stock?
Okay, fine, cinnamon rolls. I mean OTHER than that. I defy you to respond.
Of course, this intensely wonderful smell is going to waste, because the apartment is now under contract and I have no more buyers to impress.
Jerusalem artichokes: three thoughts.
1. Who thought it would be a good idea to cross-breed a russet potato with a grub?
2. They are neither from Jerusalem, nor artichokes. Discuss.
3. Oh-uh:
Gerard’s Herbal, printed in 1621, quotes the English planter John Goodyer on Jerusalem artichokes:
“Which way soever they be dressed and eaten, they stir and cause a filthy loathsome stinking wind within the body, thereby causing the belly to be pained and tormented, and are a meat more fit for swine than men.”*
*ETA: Shit y’all, John was SO RIGHT.
Career Advancement: An Update in Seventeen Syllables (2012)
From ten resumes,
Four in-person interviews.
But no job offers.
Do I have spinach stuck in my teeth or something?
Also: mushroom puree looks like baby poop.
See? Baby poop. Color AND texture.
But it tastes like an umami bomb. Mushrooms, butter, salt and pepper, Cabernet vinegar, a bit of duck braising liquid and heavy cream. Who knew? I mean, I probably would have known if I had stopped to think about it for three seconds. Because hello, sauteed mushrooms and duck-infused port and veal stock? Kill me now.
This is a plate of food I would expect to eat in a really nice restaurant if I were out to celebrate something. In February. Thus, while I highly recommend this book and recipe, I would also recommend that an 86 degree day is perhaps not the most appropriate.
IMNSHO: OMFG.
I apologize deeply for this hot mess of a post. If you need something better, go re-read this one, or this other one. Especially if you represent an organization that is considering offering me employment. Those other ones are really good, I swear. They have full sentences and everything.
To appease the angry blog gods, I humbly present an offering of cuteness in the form of the TNS canine mascots upon their return from two days at dog camp:
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You know, a friend of mine and I were craving both duck and pork belly. We went with pork belly. After
seeing your pictures of the duck, perhaps we made
a mistake…in not ordering both duck and pork belly!
OMG that looks amazing.
Also, your dogs are VERY cute.
(is it wrong that I like dogs better than people? I know it’s not!)
Four in-person interviews from ten resumes is impressive – really.
i know it doesn’t feel like it, but you are doing well in the job hunt.
I was craving duck a few days ago and then just forgot about it. Thanks for reminding me. Those look exquisitely delicious. Good luck on the job hunt and those furry friends are just too cute!
@gene, that WAS a mistake… and now, i want pork belly.
@miserichik, it would be weird if you DIDN’T like dogs better than people.
@bev, i keep telling myself that. sigh.
Hey, you are actually making huge strides in the selling real estate front and the job hunting, you just need some crybabies to tell you how bad it could be! That will cheer you up!
I don’t care if the food looks poopy, as long as it tastes damn fine, and that sounds damn DAMN fine!!
Holy shit, you’ve got your place under contract already???? That is fantastic! In the current market, that is damned near miraculous, so WELL DONE! As for the duck ragout with mushroom puree, I don’t care if 110 in the shade and humid as hell, I’d still eat it. No question. Even if it does look like baby shit. Don;t even get me started on the overwhelming cuteness that is your two beautiful furry children.
i recently heard jerusalem artichokes referred to as fartichokes. now you know!
@cynic1, thanks for the reinforcement.!
@tina, yup. handed the signed contract over today, so as long as attorney review and inspection go well, we should be good. also, i totally thought i would only get halfway through this bowl of soup before succumbing to the sweats, but i scraped my bowl clean like someone who hasn’t eaten in weeks.
@kate, it’s not joke. the whole night was like a series of unfortunate events.
hot mess? Not so much. still love!
Oh Gerard, how I love him. If you need any further wisdom from his book, you just let me know. I happen to own a well loved copy of Gerard’s Herbal.
He has lots to say about beans.
Michelle, if it makes you feel better, I have sent out >50 resumes a week since graduating from college last May, and I have received ZERO interviews and, obviously, zero job offers. So…
@barbara, i welcome more of gerard’s wisdom, because he was spot-on this time.
@scarlettb, it does NOT make me feel better. it makes me feel worse for both of us! how do you find that many jobs to apply to in a week? it’s mind boggling! sending good vibes.
I have never had a J. Art, not sure if I can even BUY them here in the mid and….well, let’s not go there….South. Not sure I can get duck either for that matter, BUT IF I COULD. I would cook this. I smells great.
Also I love your doggies. I assume they were banished so as to suggest that actual humans with actual lives and actual pets have occupied an actual home (yours)?
Good luck!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hope the sale goes thru and y’all are HAPPILY ensconced in your next and best home very soon!!!
Hogs and quiches!
Funny post and great recipe. I’d make it even in the Middle East summer (which started a month ago)
Jerusalem artichoke might be the most wildly inappropriate name for a vegetable ever. I prefer Sunchoke–at least it kind of makes sense.