I am selling my apartment, job hunting, looking for a rental and have had the single busiest week I may have had at work, ever. Mostly BY CHOICE. Because I have a problem.
Is there anything else I can do to throw my life into complete upheaval? Get a divorce? Adopt several Chinese babies? Start smoking, so I can quit smoking? BECAUSE I WILL DO IT.
I didn’t cook AT ALL this week because of Threat Level Red Overworkedness, but I couldn’t bring myself to waste the duck legs, bottle of port and $8 worth of Jerusalem artichokes I’d bought for the Smackdown. I made the Jerusalem artichoke soup with mushroom puree and duck ragout tonight from Gordon Ramsay’s Maze tonight, instead.
Completely out of sync with the season? Yes. Completely amazing? Offensively so.
I apologize that my killer fatigue means that this post will be written entirely in sentence fragments, haiku and/or non-sequiturs. If I can even eke that out before I fall alseep sitting at the kitchen table.
What smells better than duck braising in port and veal stock?
Okay, fine, cinnamon rolls. I mean OTHER than that. I defy you to respond.
Of course, this intensely wonderful smell is going to waste, because the apartment is now under contract and I have no more buyers to impress.
Jerusalem artichokes: three thoughts.
1. Who thought it would be a good idea to cross-breed a russet potato with a grub?
2. They are neither from Jerusalem, nor artichokes. Discuss.
Gerard’s Herbal, printed in 1621, quotes the English planter John Goodyer on Jerusalem artichokes:
“Which way soever they be dressed and eaten, they stir and cause a filthy loathsome stinking wind within the body, thereby causing the belly to be pained and tormented, and are a meat more fit for swine than men.”*
*ETA: Shit y’all, John was SO RIGHT.
Career Advancement: An Update in Seventeen Syllables (2012)
From ten resumes,
Four in-person interviews.
But no job offers.
Do I have spinach stuck in my teeth or something?
Also: mushroom puree looks like baby poop.
See? Baby poop. Color AND texture.
But it tastes like an umami bomb. Mushrooms, butter, salt and pepper, Cabernet vinegar, a bit of duck braising liquid and heavy cream. Who knew? I mean, I probably would have known if I had stopped to think about it for three seconds. Because hello, sauteed mushrooms and duck-infused port and veal stock? Kill me now.
This is a plate of food I would expect to eat in a really nice restaurant if I were out to celebrate something. In February. Thus, while I highly recommend this book and recipe, I would also recommend that an 86 degree day is perhaps not the most appropriate.
I apologize deeply for this hot mess of a post. If you need something better, go re-read this one, or this other one. Especially if you represent an organization that is considering offering me employment. Those other ones are really good, I swear. They have full sentences and everything.
To appease the angry blog gods, I humbly present an offering of cuteness in the form of the TNS canine mascots upon their return from two days at dog camp:
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