Seriously. I thought that we had a really good thing going here. I felt like we had a strong relationship built on trust. I mean, I’ve always been up front with you about everything.
There are some things at which the U.S. will never be the best, and we have to accept that. Italy will always have better food. Japan will always produce better random cute things in the shape of kittens. And Scandinavia will always trounce us in product design.
It’s sure as hell not going to be me. Besides, we don’t even own a vacuum. I assume there will be confetti when I hit the “publish” button, because this? Is Thursday Night Smackdown’s 1000th post.
Just so you know, when you Google image search for “normal,” the results return photos of fetuses in utero; on Flickr, it’s bicycles. Neither make sense, so I offer you a picture of boats I took 7 years ago. You’re welcome.