You smell like pine needles and your face is like sunshine.

Just so you know, when you Google image search for “normal,” the results return photos of fetuses in utero; on Flickr, it’s bicycles. Neither make sense, so I offer you a picture of boats I took 7 years ago. You’re welcome.

I am pleased to report that I am approaching near-normal amounts of sleep and experiencing diminished pain. As such, I decided to enjoy an evening of normalcy and sat on the couch with Brian watching Bridesmaids and eating Trader Joe’s Speculoos Cookie Butter AND I DIDN’T MOAN IN PAIN ONCE.

Some randomness:

For those who manage to watch even without my input, some thoughts on last night’s Top Chef:

  • I was somewhat unimpressed overall with the talent this season.
  • With that being said, yay for Paul.
  • I dislike Sarah and may have cackled when she got Tyler the Pre-Season Reject as a sous chef.
  • Barbara Lynch looked she was really committed to helping Paul win. But she still scares me.
  • The phrase “I’m going to jam out with my clam out” is the BEST THING I’VE EVER HEARD and I plan on saying it often.
  • Fingers crossed that the next season sees a marked reduction in stupid crap like forcing cheftestants to ride bikes around town sourcing ingredients to cook for Pee-Wee Herman.

Some thoughts on other reality competition shows:

  • America, you voted Heejun into the top 10, and not Reed Grimm? Shame on you.
  • Kenley made the same dress she always makes and styled her model like Nicki Minaj. I am more over her than I ever have been before. Jerrell, please stop saying your designs are “ethnic.”
  • I am thoroughly enjoying the contestant on Worst Chefs in America who thinks nuts go on anything, like pizza or mashed potatoes. You work that nut fetish.

And on non-competition reality shows:

  • If I ever hoard to the point that I can do nothing but sit in the living room surrounded by gallon jugs of my own urine, you have my permission to just burn the damn house down.

Your thoughts?

Cooking will resume this weekend along with (I hope) a drastic reduction in my reality television consumption as I regain mobility and can move increasing distances from the sofa.

(If you would be so kind: could you throw TNS a vote over at Apartment Therapy’s Homie awards? A quick registration, and then your vote could help propel TNS past “beloved by dozens” to “beloved by a full gross.”)

6 thoughts on “You smell like pine needles and your face is like sunshine.

  1. When I saw that Kenley was making the same dress AGAIN, I was so thrilled: Surely they would throw her out this time. But no. Is it some cruel jest, or is the world really really coming to an end?

  2. I’ll see your “Jam out with my clam out” and raise you a “Hos before bros. Uteruses before duderuses. Ovaries before brovaries.” from Parks and Rec, which is what I’ve been (re)watching recently.

  3. @ering, i gotta say, I’m more drawn to the brevity of “jam out with my clam out,” especially as an ex-band member who never knew what the alternative to “rock out with your cock out” was. i do enjoy me some parks and rec, tho.

  4. @michelle “Brevity is the soul of wit” according to my man billy shakespeare, so I guess you win this round of the female-alternatives-to-swaggering-macho-man-phrases competition.
    Also, I don’t know if this is a design feature or flaw, but I get to your blog through google reader and when I click over here, I can’t see the featured/first/title picture (like the boats for this post) unless I click to the home page. On the individual posts, those pictures aren’t shown. I’m not sure if you knew this or if it bothers anyone (it doesn’t bother me, I was just confused about not seeing a boat).
    To prove this is not a mean spirited critique that makes you hate me, I feel compelled to say something like “I love everything you write! you have my almost unconditional readership!” “Almost unconditional” because I think I would stop reading if you only posted recipes composed of fennel, anise, and brussel sprouts. ugh.
    I seem to have a problem with brevity. Sorry!

  5. @ering, the featured pic is uploaded separately from the pix in the actual post and only appears on the home page. on recipe/smackdown posts, the featured pic is always something from the post, so you end up seeing it anyway, but for text-only posts, it only shows up on the home page.

    is this something that bugs anyone else? it’d be easy enough to insert the featured pic into the post.

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