Awesome Shit That I Want Monday

First off thanks to the krazy kooks – the few, the proud, the elite – who actually offered to give me their unused prescription drugs. Knowing that you would violate the laws of interstate commerce for me warms the cockles of my heart.

Concurrent with my physical distress is the emotional distress of featuring this lovely nested baking dish set from Napastyle, which is, as we all know, the brainchild of douchebag par excellence Michael Chiarello. I love the colors, the shapes and the distressed edges. Thankfully, I just saw that these particular models are no longer available on the website, so I am saved from supporting Chiarello in any way.

Not that I could afford them anyway, what with all my medical copays these days. For those playing along at home, the current status is:

  • One trip to my primary care physician.
  • Two trips to the Emergency Room.
  • Five different pain management medications attempted.
  • 1,000 stars that I see every time I move my body at all.

Currently, I’m on Flexeril and Percocet, which reduce the number of stars I see by about 100. My current mission is to persuade someone, anyone, to give me an MRI, but no one will.

So a new request for you: do you know any black-market radiologists who operate in the NYC area? I can pay in cupcakes. Thanks in advance.


8 thoughts on “Awesome Shit That I Want Monday

  1. Ack, I cannot believe how long you have gone in so much pain. At this point, I think the only fair thing is to give you a permanent morphine drip.

    This sounds more painful than childbirth or stepping on a Lego. Or both at the same time. :(

  2. Michelle, no! This is a bummer on top of a bummer. Good luck fighting your way to that MRI, even if the fighting happens from a prone position.

    I love the colors of those dishes, but the distressed edges remind me too much of rust and tetanus. It would feel like serving food out of that tin pail that’s been sitting out in the rain in my backyard for the last six years.

  3. Michelle, believe it or not, the time you lost your sense of taste a few months ago can be related to this. make sure you tell the next doctor that; I know you are in terrible pain, but they need to find the cause– YOU need to know the cause. You can tell something is not right; well, the pain tells you that. But this hasn’t been properly diagnosed yet. If you check into a hospital for tests, we will write you nice notes.

  4. He *is* quite the douchebag, isn’t he? But I still like his stuff, even though I don’t have my own personal vineyard steps from the backdoor of my palatial-yet-rustic farmhouse-mansion.

  5. Flexeril is useless….
    You need to get a call into your PCP and tell him/her that enough is enough and you’ll sue for malpractice if you aren’t given the attention a week plus of excruciating pain deserves. That will move their lazy asses.
    BTW, perhaps… cannibis? I know from experience (tail end of chemo) that it is unbelievably effective for pain and nausea… (and made me eat a bag of potato chips!)

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