Thursday Night Smackdown

You're Welcome

This artisanal post was handcrafted just for YOU using the finest in locally sourced vocabulary on 10 Feb 2012, and is filed under help!.

Please Drop Off Your Gently Used Prescription Drugs

I’ll take ‘em. Vicodin, Percocet, syringes full of morphine, whatever. We’re going on two weeks of stabbing pain, ER visits, doctor’s visits, ultrasounds, x-rays, cups full of pee and shitty ineffective pain relievers.

I’ll be calling the doctor again in the morning to petition for yet another prescription for pain meds. I’ll expect a visit from the cops shortly thereafter, when my insurance company informs them that someone at this address is hording prescription drugs with intent to distribute. And I live within a couple hundred feet of an elementary school, so I gotta watch out.

Needless to say, I biffed on the Smackdown. I figure I deserve the night off from standing in front of the stove. Instead, I sat on the couch, watched Project Runway and tried not to feel too sorry for myself.

Fingers crossed for a definitive diagnosis and better pain management SOON. If you could all cross your fingers too, that would be great.

This post is a unique and delicate snowflake - there are NO RELATED POSTS...yet....

7 Comments

  1. Bev
    February 10, 2012

    I’m sorry that you are still in pain – but you describe the agony well !
    i imagine that the frustration is just added to the pain – bad from all sides.
    Hope you get a more perceptive doc soon. Very soon.

  2. FoodGardenKitchen
    February 10, 2012

    Send Brian out for valerian root. Grind in the spice grinder. Make tea from it, strain it, and drink it. Repeat as necessary. Valium without the negative side effects.

    Or you can take a vicodin and wash it down with a salty dog. The alcohol and the grapefruit juice will kick the vicodin and make you into giggling vegetable.

    That’s all I got. Best wishes

  3. Slauditory
    February 10, 2012

    Unmanageable pain is the worst kind. I hope the doctors can help you soon!!!

  4. Celestine
    February 10, 2012

    It’s so difficult to type with my fingers crossed. Please feel better soon!

  5. Hellcat13
    February 10, 2012

    I have leftover dilaudid, but I feel like it probably breaks laws to mail narcotics across the border. Plus I might still actually need it.

    Hope you feel better soon.

  6. cynic1
    February 10, 2012

    Sucks that they won’t give you the good stuff! How do all those dope fiends and grannies con the docs into handing it out?
    Best I got is, one time when I had an impacted molar I drank the pain away with coffee brandy… sorry.
    Fingers crossed!!

  7. ieatsigrins
    February 10, 2012

    Damn, girl, i feel your pain. Sucks that painkillers suck, and make one puke. Great combo.
    Hoping for a definitive diagnosis with a quick resolution.

Leave a Reply

Don't say anything I wouldn't say. No selling shit.

If you like it here then stop dicking around and subscribe to the feed already.