The internet: let us spelunk in its cave of wonders! Lose ourselves in its mesmerizing series of pipes! Revel in the richness of the 0.02% of its content that is not sexy-time or kitten oriented!

These links may amuse, inspire or anger you, or simply help you kill the last painful half-hour before quitting time:

–  Holy shit, she really DID get nailed in the face with a ham!

–  I would totally spring for a “semiotic Snuggie of safety and validation,” especially if it came in lavender.

–  Save a pretzel for the gas jets. It’s a pity he dropped out of the race, because that’s a platform I can get behind.

–  Call it empowerfulizing or mutilating,  it’s a fuel additive either way. (For advanced patriarchy-blamers only.)(Also: totally mutilating.)

–  This is awesome. So awesome that I will give you $5 to egg their house.

–  War is peace. Freedom is slavery. Breakfast is Firstmeal.

–  When my barbecue empire takes off, I’ll hire her to decorate my oceanfront estate.

–  Bacon nose tampon. Hey, National Institutes of Health: you can give back some of that excess funding, you know. You don’t HAVE to spend it all.

–  Win a night at Per Se, and then come tell us all about it.

–  Lured by the promise of overnight stardom, two siblings-in-laws have started blogs in the past few weeks. Get exhaustive answers to any questions you ever had about brewing coffee or explore mommy-blogging from the long overlooked “jazz hands” perspective.

Find something interesting among the clutter of the internet this week? Share!