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This artisanal post was handcrafted just for YOU using the finest in locally sourced vocabulary on 08 Jun 2010, and is filed under pasta.

It’s Not the Pasta’s Fault

pasta, cropped

You can decide you want dinner at 8:45, and still be done in time to watch the new Deadliest Catch. What will those wacky Time Bandit boys get up to next? I ask you.*

*They will (1) catch or (2) fail to catch crab, that’s what.

cheese

And if you suddenly decide that you really need a hamburger for dinner, it’s through no fault of the pasta that you’re forced to give in and order take-out. Make the pasta anyway. The pasta never did anything to you, and you can always take it for lunch tomorrow.

For this pasta, she is delicious. Alfredo the way it was meant to be: rich with cheese and dairy sweetness, a gentle sauce that barely naps the pasta. None of this gloppy, heavy bullshit. That’s right, I said it; most Alfredo, especially the crap you usually get in restaurants, is Bullshit Alfredo.

pasta

All you need are six simple ingredients: pasta, cheese, butter, cream, salt and pepper. End of story. One pot. Some tongs. Ten minutes. That’s it.

makings

Once your pasta is cooked, you just throw in a few pats of butter, a few handfuls of grated cheese of your choosing, and a turn of the pan’s worth of cream. Toss toss toss, assess texture, add more cheese if necessary and toss toss toss s’more until everything coalesces into a silky coating.

alfredo

Then eat a small bowlful while you wait for your burger to arrive, marvel at it and pack the rest away for savoring another time. And never eat Bullshit Alfredo again.

I would give you a recipe, but I never measure when I make this and tonight was no exception. Make it once or twice and play around with it, and you’ll get the knack. Trust me.

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14 Comments

  1. I like your version of alfredo. I really don’t care for heavy sauces, I think it’s just too much and takes away from the pasta.

    Jenn

  2. We usually go the painfully obvious route of sushi with Deadliest Catch, but I think you’ve convinced me to change things up a bit – perhaps for the Very Special Captain Phil Episode.

  3. FoodGardenKitchen
    June 9, 2010

    Simple. Elegant. What things in life are best? (oops, almost went off on a Conan riff there)

    I can’t wait to make it this way. I’d almost forgotten what it was like to see an alfredo that wasn’t gloppy and overstarched. I guess it has been at least 30 years now.

    So thanks!

  4. cynic1
    June 9, 2010

    mmmmpasta while waiting for take out, say no more.

  5. kristie
    June 9, 2010

    This may explain why I always thought I hated alfredo sauce…

  6. cali
    June 9, 2010

    this seems so simply… i’m def going to give it a try.

  7. UpNorth
    June 9, 2010

    That looks so good. I think I’m going to try it.

  8. Anna
    June 9, 2010

    I made this for some friends last month. Fresh pasta, good quality butter and parmesan. It was awesome.

  9. Brian
    June 9, 2010

    I just had the rest for lunch. It was great. I had my doubts about reheating pasta, but this stuff was so good.

    Also, when I read the Time Bandit line at the top of the post I thought you were talking about a band of time travelling little people. Maybe I’ve seen that movie too many times.

  10. kay
    June 9, 2010

    Never made alfredo, for the very reason mentioned above: gloppy bullshit. But this? This I can handle. It may join carbonara in my quick-pasta repertoire.

    But not tonight. Tonight is grilled flank steak.

  11. Theresa
    June 9, 2010

    But the gloppy alfredo sauce is for the half loaf of bread I eat with my pasta! My sauce consists of the same ingredients, just more cream and cheese and buttah.

  12. Anne
    June 22, 2010

    I made it tonight, no kids; just the hubs and me. It is amazing!! I never thought I’d buy a piece of cheese that was double digit dollars per pound…but wow. I’ll have to wait till I have an empty nest to do this regularly, heh.

  13. Philth
    June 29, 2010

    Looks so easy, I’ll have to have to find someone to make it for me! Thang you

  14. Kim
    September 6, 2011

    I just wanted to mention that I turn to this post each time I need a refresher on the ingredients. My husband and I lovingly refer to this alfredo as “No Bullshit Alfredo.” It’s a thing in our house now. Thank you bunches!

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