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This artisanal post was handcrafted just for YOU using the finest in locally sourced vocabulary on 10 Apr 2010, and is filed under beverages.

Mostly Wordless Weekend: When the Grocery Store Sells You Lemons

ade, cropped

Make lemonade.

lemons

My man’s been hard at work in the garden all day, destroying nature (i.e., chopping down a pathetically diseased peach tree). So I, being the good woman that I am, decided to practice the housewifely art of making lemonade for one’s hard-working man.

juicification

Truth be told, I probably would have felt a lot less housewifely had I not recently purchased this juicer, which makes quick work of juicing a shit-ton of lemons. I’m much less of a good woman when I have to do things by hand.

dessication

When the dessication was complete, I mixed in some water and simple sugar syrup. And voila, lemonade.

Did you think there would be more to this? Like, she wouldn’t bother to write a post about a pitcher of lemonade, would she? Oh yes, I would. And you’re reading it! Inanity all around!

lemonade

I brought an icy cold glass out to my little tree killer, who was grateful for the refreshment and promised to tell his grandma what a good wife I am. Validation! I could use some, because if I’m being candid, I’m a terrible wife.* I dust once every three years, never do the dishes, leave piles of laundry laying around for weeks and am constantly serving dinner cold because I need to photograph it like a damn fool.

Plus, then I got some lemonade which, let’s be frank, was really what it was all about in the first place.

Fin.

*Let it be known that I’m an exemplary woman, just a terrible wife. Because “married woman” does not equal “traditional understanding of ‘wife’”.

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8 Comments

  1. anna l'americana
    April 10, 2010

    gee, all that’s missing there is a shot of vodka…..!
    You know, as a proper send-off for the tree, of course.
    Cheers.

  2. robin
    April 10, 2010

    next time, borrow our lemon-squisher. We have the kind that sits on a table and you bear down on a lever. I love it.

  3. Anne
    April 10, 2010

    Your aside? I like that! I, too, am an exemplary woman…not so much with the housewifely duties. I love to cook, hate doing dishes. Fortunately, my MIL loves me because I *am* a good mom. My girls are my pride and joy. And I’m madly in love with the husband, heh. She overlooks the dust, the dishes, the clutter….:-)

  4. Erika
    April 11, 2010

    Cool, I have the same lemon juicer. did the same thing Friday, but haven’t made lemonade of the juice yet. You should have also – carefully peeled only the yellow part of the lemons, put the peels in a jar & covered with cheap vodka, in about a month, add simple syrup to taste, let sit another few weeks, and you’ll have limoncello.

  5. Laura
    April 11, 2010

    Just want to say hell, yeah! about an exemplary woman not equalling a traditionally good wife.

    Also, I love the picture of the squashed inside-out lemon pucks.

  6. karen
    April 11, 2010

    We have a lemon tree in the backyard. My God those lemons are somewhere in between a baseball and softball. Tart but slightly sweet. I usually juice them and the juice goes into ice trays so there is fresh lemon juice available at all times (yes, zest, too). One lemon will fill an ice tray. (Yeah, I got pitifully excited when I figured that out.) Our tree is currently loaded with blossoms. I thought we lost it when we got weather in the teens for extended periods of time this year.

    I now want lemonade but am lemonless.

  7. zoe
    April 12, 2010

    oh I have exactly the same lemon juicer, how great are they?! unless you only have giant lemons, and they won’t fit :(

    and double cheers to being a good woman, and a good wife, despite cleaning laziness.. many other things are way more important to be good at ;) (honesty, conversation, belly laughing, spontaneousness, creativity etc etc)

  8. Holly
    April 12, 2010

    Alright, this definitely looks worlds better then the Crystal Light I normally have. And since I have this juicer for lemons AND limes, I really have no excuse.

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