First, check out my depth of field, yo. Our children is learning!
Second, I’m sorry about the aspic. But the Smackdown must ever explore the new and exciting, or in this case old and vile.
Fourth, Lillet (a French apertif wine) on ice, maybe with a spritz of seltzer, is my new official drink. The shiznit.
Also, I really am sorry about the aspic.
We all know whose fault it really is: Julia Child.
Kidding! It’s obviously gelatin, in league with Julia Child.
And not a week too soon. You know, because the regular Top Chef is starting RIGHT NOW.
You know, I hope I meet Michael Chiarello one day and he’s really, really nice; I do. Until then, I will rip him a new one every chance I get.
Chiarello. Bayless. Hubert. Pull it out, Keller. Pull it out.
Who decided to air the intro of the next Top Chef on the same night as the Masters’ finale, thus requiring me to do this for TWO AND A HALF HOURS on a day when we cranked up the Abilification process and I feel drunk and my brain is working at 2/3 speed and let’s face it, it normally don’t work so great? So, you know, bottoms up. Let’s do this thing.
*Please note: this is all going by very fast and my proofreader had the temerity to go out drinking tonight, so you’ll have to give me a little leeway until after Masters is done.
So somewhere in my youth, or childhood, I must have done something good.”*
And with that, I have become Rachael Ray.
If you love me, you’ll hand me the gun.