Liveblogging Top Chef Vegas: Episode 1

Who decided to air the intro of the next Top Chef on the same night as the Masters’ finale, thus requiring me to do this for TWO AND A HALF HOURS on a day when we cranked up the Abilification process and I feel drunk and my brain is working at 2/3 speed and let’s face it, it normally don’t work so great? So, you know, bottoms up. Let’s do this thing.

*Please note: this is all going by very fast and my proofreader had the temerity to go out drinking tonight, so you’ll have to give me a little leeway until after Masters is done.

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Who have I become?

Message I just left on the half-and-half carton I share with two other co-workers:

Next time you wake up in a bathtub full of ice with your kidneys gone and “Call 911″ scrawled on the wall, ask yourself: ‘How much half-and-half did I drink this week?’

Hey, I’m from Jersey. I know rabbis.

Winner Winner Chicken Dinner

Congratulations Judy, of No Fear Entertaining! Your red wine-braised short ribs have taken the day. There is no way to adequately describe my love of a well-braised short rib other than “junkie.”

Everyone, bow your heads and pretend to be serious as you celebrate her victory.

Know, however, that this was not an easy choice. There were lots of strong entries (pot pies, mac and cheese, grits casseroles), although to be forthright with you, there were also more than a few that made me sigh. (Not in a good way.) You are trying to WIN here, people. The canned cream soups, they may win for you – congratulations – but they do not win here.

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Liveblogging Top Chef Masters: Episode Something or Other

Fine; it’s episode nine. Happy?

This week, Chefs Bayless, Lo, Chiarello and Keller take a field trip to Best Friends Forever State Park, where they go on a nature walk, learn to make hand-dipped wax candles and eat s’mores around a campfire while having a sing-a-long. Bayless plays the harmonica. Unfortunatley, the night takes a sad turn when no one wants to share a tent with Chiarello. (He’s a wetter.)

Okay, maybe not. But if the last two weeks are any indication, that’s what it will seem like.

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