Tight Ass Tuesday: In the style of OJ, Part II*

Unless take-out General Tso’s chicken counts. Probably not. It doesn’t meet the “hot as we can stand it” criterion anyway, at least the way Market Boy Chinese makes it.

Remember Sunday, when I wrote a post made of haiku because I said I was having a relapse (into an acute cycling phase of bipolar disorder, for those not in the know)? I should have said RELAPSE. Or better yet, GIANT FUCKING RELAPSE.

Also appropriate:

  • MY GOD, LOOK AT THE MAGNITUDE OF THAT RELAPSE
  • “SEND THE KIDS OUT OF THE ROOM FOR THIS PART; THE GIANT RELAPSE IS GOING TO BE TOO SCARY FOR THEM.”
  • RELAPSE THAT IS VISIBLE FROM SPACE
  • RELAPSOCOLYPSE
  • RELAPSONOMICON: THE RECKONING II

So today we begin trying to get things under control with a new mood stabilizer, Abilify! I’m not jumping up and down about it or anything because I’m too depressed to jump; it just seems like a word that should have an exclamation point after it.

I’m a little wary of new drugs in general, especially of drugs with names that sound like verbs. “The car’s been stalling lately, I think we need to abilify the transmission.” “The pool’s looking a little green, when was the last time you abilified it?” But I’d like to stay, you know, alive, so I’ll give it a whirl. At this point, if you told me that shooting up cat piss would be a viable therapy option I would do it.

But enough about me! Dinner. Needless to say I didn’t make it, but I did have a concrete plan: quesadillas with salsa verde. I know that doesn’t sound very exciting, but I was going to roast the jalapenos intact; this infuses the chile’s flesh with the heat of the ribs and seeds so that even when you clean them out, the resulting salsa is hotter than the flames of hell. There were going to be photos of pounding salsa in the molcajete, blackened chicken for the quesadillas, piles of cheese used to neutralize the heat, the giant glass of milk I’d be drinking and the handful of tranquilizers I’d be tossing back throughout the night.

But there aren’t. Sorry. I’ll be here tomorrow night for Top Chef Masters, though, so see you then.

*I.e., I didn’t do it, but if I had, here’s how I would have.

[TAGS]mexico, salsa, chiles, depression, biopolar, abilify, lamictal, psychiatric, medication [/tags]

10 thoughts on “Tight Ass Tuesday: In the style of OJ, Part II*

  1. You have a molcajete? Jealous… damn, I’m the one that lives within a stones throw of Mexico, I should probably get one. Good luck with your new meds. Someone has to keep their blog up, hell knows it isn’t me. It’s way too freaking hot here today to even IMAGING spiciness in the house much less eat it. I’ll be catching your blog post after I watch my TiVo of Top Chef Masters….

  2. My brother has been on Abilify for years, after ages and ages of drugs that either didn’t do anything or totally fucked him up. Abilify is the only thing that’s worked. I really, really hope it works for you.

    And I love, love, love your blog. Just wish I’d discovered it sooner because I’m too damn lazy to read archives. Maybe someday.

  3. Got a friend on Abilify, and he swears by it. I’m recovering from stomach virus, so no cooking last night(I did eat sliced tomatos and cheese, because damn, the tomatos are fine right now). Give the Abilify about a week to kick in. I’m also impressed by the molcajete.

  4. Man I want a job naming drugs….after paint colors it would be the coolest thing….my husband is on zoladex, casodex and zometa. Do they think the end of the alphabet has some special healing properties?

    Abilify….ha! Here’s hoping it abilifies you….

    much love to drugs and your blog….

  5. Hope this one works for you. Where would we be without our “don’t be crazy” drugs. (Don’t answer that)

    Speaking of drug names, I snicker every time I hear Boniva because it sounds like a boner pill. Also Aciphex is snicker worthy.

  6. Wow the quesadillas sound good! I hope the new med works well. I self-medicate with booze myself, and it sometimes works. I changed my tag because I left Newtown Tavern, and now I’m at Iron Bridge Wine Company in Warrenton. Love it! Love your site! I’ll be following TCM later tonight, and your blog is the best part!

  7. Looking forward to reading about Top Chef tomorrow! At least I know if it’s not interesting enough to keep me awake, I always have you:) Laptop repair still pending–I’ll be back for Top Chef Vegas for sure!

  8. That was an awesome plan! It was almost as good as seeing your post about actually doing it! Way to go!

    Hey, I hope the meds work wonders and kick in super fast. Hang in there. I’m sorry there’s a relapse. I wish there wasn’t.

  9. Pingback: thursday night smackdown » August 2009 Hobo Tuesday: The Roundup

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