Eating Out: Madame Claude Cafe

“Behold the face of the man: Spartacus in full flight!”

I know yesterday was the 4th of July.  Hooray, let’s gather to watch orchestrated explosives that are supposed to thrill us with pretty colors rather than terrify us with their unabashed mimicry of open warfare.  (Fireworks that explode to create peace signs: Fireworks manufacturers mocking our intelligence? I interpret it as such.)

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Thursday Night Smackdown, I think.

The only thing better than failure is failure at 3 in the morning. I mean, in general I prefer my failures to occur at an obscure time of night: all the better to reinforce their obscurity. But when the thing you’re screwing up is meant to be broadcast to the world anyway, it doesn’t really matter when it happens.

It’s just, you know, it’s 3:30am. And I’m cranky.

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Liveblogging Top Chef Masters: Screw you, Mizrahi

What the fuck, Bravo?  Is your Project Runway knockoff featuring dubious renowned American fashion icon and Destiny’s Child member Kelly Rowland really doing that well in the ratings?  We all know the Gunn is coming to Lifetime soon, so give up the ghost.

Issac, you know I love you, but I’m pissed that your steaming pile of a show is preempting Top Chef tonight and I’m pissed that Bravo thinks that re-running two episodes of Ludo is going to appease me.  I AM NOT APPEASED.

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