Thursday Night Smackdown: A benefit of having big feet is that it is literally impossible to put one in your mouth

Don’t forget to come up with the bleakest soup you can for a chance to win a copy of ‘Sunday Soups’!

So everyone was all, like, “You have to get A Platter of Figs, it’s the best new cookbook ever, it babysits my kids and re-caulked my bathtub and helped me lose 47 pounds in 7 days without even trying.”  And I was all, like, “I’m not spending thirty bucks on a book with a recipe for tomatoes that is ‘slice tomatoes and sprinkle with salt, the end.’”  I’d spend twenty on that book, tops.

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Liveblogging Top Chef Masters: Episode 3

Tonight’s masters: Rick Bayless (Frontera Grill and Tompolobampo, Chicago), Cindy Pawlcyn (Mustards Grill, Napa), Wilo Benet (Pikayo, Puerto Rico) and Ludo Lefebvre (Ludo Bites, floating restaurant).

Bayless and Pawlcyn can cook their asses off. (I love her cookbook, even though every ingredient list is 17 pages long. His books aren’t too shabby either.)  Lefebvre seems like an ass, so maybe tonight will be a little less sedate.  I’ll be pulling for Pawlcyn.

See you in 3!

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Father's Day: Choose Your Own Adventure

Key Lime Bars: It’s pie, but you can eat it with your fingers!  What’s not to like?  I thought I’d make something tasty to bring to Brian’s dad’s Father’s Day barbeque; I’m not a lover of Father’s Day, and pie helps.  Plus, key lime is another one of those things that are ridiculously easy to make – I feel bad even calling it “cooking” – and if there’s anything I love, it’s undeserved adulation.*

*Speaking of which: go vote for me and my “provocative” blog.

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