TNS: My husband is a cheap son of a bitch.

ETA: Please, NO COMMISERATING.  It usually just makes me feel worse because no two people with mental illness are ever in the same place, and I need to be working through my own shit instead of comparing myself to others.  However, rooting for me is totally acceptable and is encouraged.

They tell me that eventually this drug is going to work like a charm, and in the meantime it’s just going be a bit “activating.”  Where activating = sitting curled up on the corner of the couch, sobbing, convinced my life is a crumbling wreck of a life, not even able to laugh at Alec Baldwin on 30 Rock who is FUCKING HILARIOUS.

So here’s the deal for tonight: The captions will tell you what you are actually look at.  The text and title will be drawn from the rich, rich trove of google searches.  Tomorrow, when, hopefully I will be sane at some point, I may go back in.  Hopefully. Lame? Yes. But I’m lame right now.  I promise make-up cake this weekend, and we all know make-up cake is the best kind of cake.

So, above: herb-roasted lamb loin chops with goat cheese and zinfandel sauce from Susan Spicer’s Crescent City Cooking, an excellent book that has (1) never led me astray and (2) has a lot of recipes involving cheese. So +2 on that count.

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That's right fuckers, grass and milk. Grass and milk.

No one wanted to learn about this. Grass and milk, you said. We’d rather learn about a dish that looks like it has roux and/or cheese, because we love creamy delicious things, and we can’t imagine that sieve of grass and milk representing anything good.

Oh, ye of little faith.

Granted, it’s not like I’m withholding it from you entirely – although know that I could – and you’re learning about it a mere day later. Unfortunately, that’s one day extra that you’ve gone without lemongrass and black pepper infused coconut rice pudding, layered with passionfruit-coconut rice pudding. Delicious, delicious pudding, pudding that does not look like upchuck. Pudding that may have constituted my entire lunch yesterday and I’m glad, I tells ya, glad.

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Monday Stimulus Package: The Will of the People Be Done


The People Have Spoken.

So I added the chives on top for a little contrast, and to make this look a little less like dog food. It’s a little trick I use that decreases enhances my effectiveness as a food stylist. Food too beige? Prop a chive on it. Looks a little too much like dog food? Chives. Unattractive dessert? Chives. Kids aren’t cooperative for the family photo? Chives. I mean, come on, you can see the results here. I dare you to create an appetizing looking plate of shrimp and grits sans chives.

Okay, fine, scratch that last one because I know I’ll lose. But better tasting shrimp and grits? Never. Also, shrimp and grits more likely to cause a myocardial infarction* within 8 minutes of consumption? YOU DON’T STAND A CHANCE.**

*I know it’s a serious condition, but is this or is this not a very funny word? Answer: Yes, it is.

**There is a good reason we only eat them once a year. For us, that’s saying a lot.

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Democracy in Action!

THE POLLS HAVE OFFICIALLY CLOSED: THE PEOPLE HAVE SPOKEN, AND THEY DEMAND SHELLFISH. Item number 2 has been chosen, so you’ll never know what was in picture number 1. Well, until tomorrow, when I tell you.  But for tonight, off to write about item 2: Best-Ever Shrimp and Grits.

Cheap Ass Monday is on hiatus for today as I celebrate President’s Day with an attempt to stimulate the economy and end our current financial crisis once and for all. I have two possible entries for tonight. Please exercise your right to representation by deciding which you’d rather see by picking from the two options based only on the following evidence:

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