I hope you're satisfied, you shrieking harpies.

Series of related equations, in the key of bacon.

Number 1


Toffee

PLUS


Bacon

EQUALS

BACON TOFFEE

m

Number 2


Black peppercorn and clove-infused simple syrup

PLUS


Classic Genoise cake

EQUALS

Black pepper-scented genoise

m

Number 3

Number 1

PLUS

Number 2

PLUS


Maple-Bourbon Buttercream

EQUALS

Black pepper-scented genoise filled with maple-bourbon buttercream and crushed bacon toffee bits, frosted and encased in that same buttercream and toffee

Math class over. Cake for everyone. Serve with a little pool of pepper syrup and a scattering of toffee bits.

The Verdicts:

  1. The Cake Bible’s classic genoise is really good.
  2. Bacon toffee is highly addictive.
  3. Use more bacon in your bacon toffee that you think is really necessary. You will not regret it.
  4. Make bacon toffee even if you do not want this cake.
  5. It is really easy to make maple buttercream way too sweet.  Consider extract instead of/in addition to maple syrup.
  6. Bourbon is a welcome addition.  You would also not be remiss if you brushed some onto the cake along with the black pepper syrup.
  7. More peppery syrup was needed to counter the buttercream

To play at home:

  • Cake recipe from the Cake Bible (Classic Genoise)
  • Toffee recipe here, just chuck in some crispy diced bacon at the end
  • Buttercream recipe here, jut adjust favoring using maple syrup (grade B), bourbon and/or maple extract.
  • Simple syrup was 1/2 c. sugar, 1/3 c. water, 1 tbsp. black peppercorns, 1/2 tsp. cracked black peppercorns and 5 or 6 whole cloves.

Done and done.

36 thoughts on “I hope you're satisfied, you shrieking harpies.

  1. there is no fucking diet on this planet that would stop me from eating this cake.

    i am speechless and almost glad to be 1000 miles away from your leftovers – i’d be begging you…

    cake is my weakness.
    fucking beautiful…

  2. there is no fucking diet on this planet that would stop me from eating this cake.

    i am speechless and almost glad to be 1000 miles away from your leftovers – i’d be begging you…

    cake is my weakness.
    fucking beautiful…

  3. Whoa! (I think I say that at the beginning of every comment I make on this blog….) That is one bad-ass cake.

    Coincidentally, I’ve just finished a cookbook that includes a recipe for lane cake (white cake with a bourbon-egg-date-nut-coconut topping) with candied bacon. Now I really feel like I’m part of the zeitgeist.

    In fact, I’d be honored if you’d give the recipe a proper smackdown when the book comes out in October. If it helps, the cookbook’s title is F-ing Delicious (but we don’t edit the profanity inside).

    Sorry if that sounds like shilling–it just warms my heart to see the many faces of candied bacon for dessert!

  4. I’ve heard the genoise is the most surefire way to a moist cake, is it true?

    Oh yeah and mad props on the bacon cake, I would have just gone: come-on guys, a real cake, not a crazy people cake…

  5. i admit to being one of the shriekers, but…i can’t say i’m sorry, not when the result is bacon toffee (and cake). bacon fuckin’ toffee! i made your chocolate & almond dipped toffee before and it was fabulous, but it didn’t have bacon….inspired. i’m still rooting for your drugs, too. mental health ftw!

  6. And I always thought I would never need math once I graduated.
    Turns out I was wrong.
    This really adds up.
    So I’m sitting here with my fork…..
    But I’m not getting any am I? Woe is me.
    You tease!

  7. Bacon toffee? I can’t imagine. Then again, bacon is the secret ingredient in the peanut butter cookie from “Everything Tastes Better with Bacon” (it’s on Amaxon; check it out).

    So next time, why don’t you just toss some bacon right into the cake batter? BACON CAKE!

  8. I know what I’m cooking tonight! Satisfied…yes. First time in a long, long time someone’s truly blown me away! You rock!

  9. Holy fucking shit, I want to eat that cake right now. I found your site not too long ago and have been catching up on your posts, but this cake, wow.

    I hope the med stuff gets better for you. I’ve been down that road more than once, and it sucks balls.

  10. Oh my god.
    …But don’t you all SEE?
    Don’t you see that this changes EVERYTHING?

    When I woke up today, I had a picture of the world in my head. That picture is now beautifully, blessedly altered forever.

  11. Pingback: I hope you’re satisfied, you shrieking harpies. « Habesha Child

  12. Okay. That’s it. I’m making at least the bacon toffee. I’ve been wanting to make it for ages, but my husband keeps saying something like, “ew. bacon and sweets? Ew.” and what did I do? I listened. No more. I will make the bacon toffee and then I am sure he’ll eat the whole batch. Maybe I’d better make a double batch.

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  14. @katie, way up the comments thread: genoise is super-moist and delicious. But it can go horribly, horribly wrong. Don’t try to make it on a super-hot day, or else the butter will get too melty and settle into a nasty, rubbery layer at the bottom of the cake. I speak from bitter experience. (Incidentally, my mom used to make me a genoise birthday cake with an almond-toffee buttercream frosting. Why not bacon? I guess she just didn’t love me enough!)

  15. Damn. The thought of that cake makes me feel somewhat like I remember feeling when I was a kid and learned what sex involved. “Say wh-aaaat?” followed by “You’re bullshittin’ me,” followed by the next several years being fascinated by the anticipation and eventually enamoured of the real thing. And I don’t know what a genoise cake is. But Google is a Good Thing.

  16. I made the bacon toffee! And not only was I right about my husband loving it, but all five of my sons loved it. My five year old cried before going to bed because he wanted to have more ‘bacon candy’. Hubby’s taking a slab of it to work with him to pass around… I am vindicated. And I guess in a way you are, too…

  17. You have opened a door in the blogosphere that you may not want. Trust me. Claudia experienced it with her bacon ice cream and so did I with my bacon chocolate chip cookies (which I was totally pissed to find I had not found my road to Oprah money and some hillybilly breakfast douche had been doing it all along) and Greg’s miso maple bacon ice cream bourbon root beer float (which tasted surprisingly like pancakes with syrup).

    There’s something about bacon. The people love bacon.

  18. I’ve always loved the genoise from The Cake Bible. But I’ve never found a frosting worthy of it. This may be it! Thanks.

  19. for the first time, i really wish i liked toffee. i feel like there’s something wrong with me [well, there are lots of things wrong with me. i feel like my meds should be helping me with this toffee-liking deficiency]. i just dont like things that stick in my teeth [have the same problem with chewy caramels and oreos]. i really want bacon toffee. what else can i put bacon in? i kind of want bacon frosting.

  20. I actually made it, followed it to the smallest detail. Yes, I used a pound and a half of bacon, and it wasn’t enough, you could only taste a hint. so it’s never enough bacon!
    the turn off was how extremely rich the cake ended up – the buttercream too rich and creamy, the toffee too sweet. The soft and spongy cake, creamy buttercream, crunchy toffee and well-balanced syrip were a great combination and contrast to each other. but again, it was way too rich, 4 of us could hardly eat a little piece each. I still have 3/4 of the cake at home, and nobody wants anything baked since then. Maybe I am just not used to such richness, it was beyond decadent, I felt it was excessive. But some people might love it.
    The only thing I wish you mentioned – how much time it took you from the beginning to the end. If I knew it, I would never attempt it. It took me about 12 hours total (3 evenings – gathering ingredients, prepping, baking, stirring, frying, baking, etc) to complete everything, but again, it’s probably just me, I am too precise when it comes to baking. This wasn’t the most cost-efficient, most bang for your time and buck. I am glad I tried it, now I know how to make the toffee. and since I know what goes into it, I will probably never eat it again :-).
    Thank you again for such creative challenge! I truly enjoyed it. But I will try something less exhausting next time :-).
    Thank you, Lien

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