Weekend Frig: He's crying on the inside

Sometimes it’s not the actual food that’s fucked-up (although it usually is), sometimes it’s just the packaging.

This makes ME cry on the outside.

I know I’m not the only one here who finds clowns unnatural and frightening, so why would I want to eat food shaken from this terrifying creature’s innards?  “Look, my internal organs are delicious delights with which to adorn the cupcakes you’re sending to school for your kindergartner’s birthday! Hooray!”

What happens when Mr. Sprinkles is empty?  I, for one, don’t want to be around to find out.  Suddenly all work and no play makes Mr. Sprinkles a dull boy.

Sorry, clowns really freak me out.

Interestingly, although I am not scared of most  of the cartoon characters commemorated in Pez dispenser form, Pez still freaks me out for a related reason: Who wants to eat food from a neck? No, I don’t want a piece of shitty candy from Wonder Woman’s trachiotomy incision thank you very much.

What makes you say The Frig?

0 thoughts on “Weekend Frig: He's crying on the inside

  1. clowns are definitely creepy. did you see stephen king’s “It” with tim curry as the clown? uber creepy. far creepier and scary than the real monster in the story. The Frig?-iest for me, though, is talking babies, like the one on those commercials about online trading. ironically, one of those commercials has said baby renting a clown and commenting afterward that he had underestimated the creepiness.

  2. burkie,”it” scared the living shit out of me. the book was scary enough, but tim curry was nightmarish. the part where his teeth are razors? HOLY JESUS.

    also, i totally agree re: creepiness of talking babies, and am relieved that i’ve never seen the talking baby/clown combo. shudder.

  3. I. Hate. Clowns. They’re not funny. They’re scary. More than scary. Horrifying. Especially when you’re supposed to sprinkle their insides on to your ice cream. What the fuck?

    Oh, and I used to read Stephen King when I was a kid. I remember it like yesterday: It was the summer before eighth grade, and I decided to finally tackle It. I was about halfway through, reading at 2 a.m., and all of a sudden, I heard a knock on my bedroom window, scaring the crap out of me. It was a couple of friends, who I then yelled at. But I’ve never been able to pick up that book again. I would NEVER be able to watch that movie.

  4. Is the clown in the sewer drain (whatever that’s called in the street) at some point? I’m pretty sure I never saw the movie, but definitely read the book, and: Creep-ola.

  5. i literally made a face of horrified disgust when i saw this. ewwwwww.
    there are few food-related things that scare me so much i wouldnt eat them… the only one i can think of is fish with the head still attached. fish scare the crap out of me and i dont think i could sit at the table with a fish-head lying there. ackkkkkk its freaking me out just thinking about it.

  6. OK, right along the same vein, I also find Mrs. Butterworth completely off the charts creepy…

    Why do marketers think that eating food from inside a simulated life-type form is something we’d find appetizing?

  7. I have kiddos, and they like the circus. I tackled the fear of clowns. For them. it’s all because of the exact scene in “It,” with the sewer drain. I still “gnah..” and cringe a little, but can deal. I am personally freaked out by bread, the sliced white sandwich variety. I developed this “ick” about bread when I was pregnant, and left some bread crusts on a plate beside me, being all 8 months and beach ball, instead of getting up and stickin it in the compost. Oh, the smell…. I just cant. I feel like you do the day (or weeks) after you go out with friends, and drink whiskey, the cheap stuff, cause you want to get effed quickly. the next few times you smell it, or anything oaken, you throw up a little? or is that just me?

  8. sara, i, too, was in middle school, and i distinctly remember having to stay up all night to finish the book in one go because there was just no other way i was going to be able to go on if i didn’t know it was dead.

    jesse, that’s the one. lures you into the sewer, starts eating you alive with his razor teeth. scariest shit ever.

    vera, yes. yes he is. don’t let him hear you say that.

    jesi, i’ve dealt with still-headed fish twice in my life, and it was not easy. one time, i didn’t have a great knife, and it took several to many hacks to behead it. i am still traumatized.

    this is also why i cannot eat whole lobsters or soft shell crabs. ripping their whole little bodies apart is too much for me.

    anna, i’m with you on that one as well.

    cyndi, i’m not sure how to take that and i feel like there might me some TMI lurking in that comment.

    toontz, see? WHY DOES THE CIRCUS NOT UNDERSTAND THIS? clowns are inherently disturbing, and let’s not even talk about the “sad” (read: drunk hobo) clowns.

    hihi, i’m sorry to be the one to tell you this, but i think it might be just you re: the bread thing. although i get the whiskey thing, if you substitute tequila for whiskey.

  9. I have never understood why I must squish/mangle the bear to get the honey out. Why is it a bear? It’s not Pooh. Shouldn’t it be a bee? Or a honeycomb? Or just a freaking cylinder?

    And I too cannot eat anything that looks like what it was before it was cooked. Whole-anything just does not sit well (especially shellfish that tend to look like angry armored aliens whose shells stab you repeatedly when you try to break into them, deservedly so.) Even roasting whole chickens kind of freaks me out. Thank goodness steak/venison are just amorphous hunks of delicious.

  10. And (apparently, as explained to me by my husband) if you read The Dark Tower series, the big bad from “It” is further explained/alluded to. And The Stand.

    Basically, Stephen King could only come up with one really scary thing, and just used it over and over, and covered his ass by making it all “connected” rather than redundant.

    Razor-toothed clowns are plenty f*cking scary for me tho.

  11. Fucking clowns flip me out, that’s what. Stephen King had it right to make one a major character in a freaking horror novel about murdered kids. Murdering asshat clowns. I think, in the book, they even referred to him as “that fucker Pennywise the Clown”. And rightly so.

  12. Oh and of course, I should have read all the other comments, first. I hated that fucking murdering clown. I also detest the creepy, pedophile looking Burger King dude who just stands there staring that creepy pedophile stare of his.

  13. I’m late to the comment ‘game’ again. Oh well. I just wanted to say that although I’ve got some personal ‘bugbears’ like everyone else, clowns aren’t one of them. Even after reading Stephen King, I still like them. Also, I have no problem with head-on fishies, or lobsters or crabs…I love them all. So…what DOES creep me out? Eating bunnies, for one. Also, venison or any ‘hunted’ animal that’s also cute. Elk? I can eat elk. Not cute. Bambi? Fahgeddaboutit! I don’t want to eat Thumper either. Maybe that’s why I have no problem with whole fish and other seafoods. Not cute! (Although PETA has started a new ‘reign of terror’ in which they are trying to teach kids to call all fish ‘Sea Kittens’ so that they won’t be tempted to eat them. Crazy motherfuckers, all of them!! (PETA, not kids)

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