Superbowl Frig: It's $4 million dollars to view this post for 30 seconds

BOILERPLATE: I’m a finalist in the 2009 Bloggies. Best-Kept Secret Blog! No shitting. I’ve added a new page to the site to introduce you to my oeuvre pander.

So many excellent guesses for the last Frig? – except for all the people who got the “toast” part, which was fairly obvious – but none quite on the mark. What did you really see?

A freakish, netherworldly version of what should be a heartwarming classic, tomato soup and grilled cheese. Except instead of soup and a sandwich, anarchivist subjected us to his/her El Bulli version: tomato foam and dubliner cheese on rye toast.

Mmmm mmm, good.

For the weekend Frig?, we depart from our tradition of exploring the hoary underworld of processed foods. Instead of a single food, what we have here is a monument to all processed foods, including that godfather of processed horrors, the Twinkie. The inclusion of real foods, including bacon and cheese (which should be saving graces), does not save it in any way.

I give you: the Snack Food Stadium:

Full description and instructions on how to make your very own here. (I loathe the originating website, but couldn’t not tell you where this came from.) As the creators explain, “Vienna sausages make delicious players, and tiny cheese wedge helmets help keep them from getting concussions. ” Obviously. When your team wins, you can eat the bacon guardrails and have the fans rush the field!

Thanks to intrepid internet troller, sometimes-commenter and wonderful upstairs neighbor who doesn’t mind when I make the whole house smell like garlic, Edgerton, for exposing this feat of modern engineering.

0 thoughts on “Superbowl Frig: It's $4 million dollars to view this post for 30 seconds

  1. I know I should be horrified, but instead? I think that’s fucking AWESOME. If anyone I knew was having a Superbowl party and promised to serve that, I would actually show up and watch the Superbowl. While stuffing myself with End Zone Chex Mix and Cheese Wedge Helmets. But since no one has promised me this, I will instead stick to my annual tradition of ignoring the big event entirely.

  2. I saw this on Serious Eats, and the general consensus (which I agree with) is that the stadium should NOT be made of Twinkies. It’s just not right – everything else is savory. It needs to be corn dogs or something like that.

  3. I’m with Kristin – I want to hate that. I want to think that’s the gnarliest shit I’ve seen since the last time I attempted to cook without a recipe.

    But.

    I can’t. That’s so rad and horrifying all at once that I think I’m a little in love with it.

  4. ARGH! If ONLY you had posted this a little more in advance. I would have SO made this for the Superbowl Party I’m hosting. And yes, agreed on substituting the Twinkies with corndogs. Sweet and savory should NEVER mix in the snack food world.

  5. Corndogs – OH Yum. That just elevates this pile of cholesterol and high fructose corn syrup to the annals of perfection… I agree that Twinkies do not pair well with the whole savory concept of this dish. They would however, do well on a separate plate, deep fried, of course, and served hot, for dessert.

    This is like a car accident. You know you shouldn’t look, but you can’t help taking a bite.

  6. kristin, it’s the vienna sausages that kill it for me. if they had used soemthing else for the players – maybe two combos, stuck together on a toothpick – okay. but vienna sausages, outside the pigs-in-a-blanket context, give me the willies.

    trillian, i don’t know that i agree. the twinkies are for the end – they’re dessert. if you ate them during the game, the fans would all spill out and then where would you be?

    plus – and not that i am NOT saying i approve of any kind of twinkie-cheez doodle mating – sweet and savory go together all the time, do they not?

    steph, i understand. see above comment about vienna sausages.

    veronica, there’s still time! have a pre-party, and have everyone help with the construction.

    anna, i’ve never had a deep-fried twinkie, although were were just discussing them at work the other day. i think i may have a deep frying party soon, where we have a variety of batters (beer, corn, tempura) and every guest brings something they would like to try deep-frying. best party ever? possibly.

    italian, the originating site actually has one.

  7. michelle, we did a deep fry party last year… first of all do it outside. because well, trust me on this…

    two… prepare for not wanting to eat deep fried foods for a good month afterward.(((shudders)))

    three… you’ll feel like you’ll need a bath in bleach and boiling water for days afterwards…

    deep fried twinkies… good. deep fried snickers… even better!

    4 fry daddies, lots of veggies, meats, shrimp, oreos, twinkies, 4 different batters, beer and alcohol. one of the best parties i ever threw.

  8. I’m already packing for your party Michelle, just say when.

    Twinkies, Check. Snickers, Check. Tums, Check. Elastic waistband, check.

    Read’to go!

  9. If you battered and deep-fried that whole stadium to a beautiful golden brown, it would make a perfect container for me to vomit in.

  10. its a calorie fest. the twinkies are clearly for dessert. we just need a big glass of milk. i should be ashamed to admit wanting to make this, but i’m not.

  11. So, Michelle, do you remember my habit of making bizarrely themed birthday cakes in college? I’m not sure if you were around at the beginning, but I know you missed the peak of it. Anyway, one year I made a Pittsburgh Steelers cake for Justin which featured bacon on toothpicks just like in this monstrosity. Apparently I was way ahead of my time…

  12. ECM, question: where did you get 4 fry-daddies? do you actually own 4 fry-daddies, or can you rent them? because i do NOT have storage space for anything more than a single fry-baby, and was going to use deep cast-iron dutch ovens on the stove, like a sucker.

    anna, i’m still trying to sell brian on the idea.

    pete, most apt description ever. and yet, you know you would eat some of it.

    kerry w, we’re all ashamed, but we’re working through it. i’ll start a support group.

    katie, i don’t remember the steelers cake (but i also wasn’t friends with justin, so i might just not have been around). but look back with nothing but the greatest fondness on the titanic cake and, or course, my own mt. everest cake.

  13. i had all my friends bring their fry daddies. seriously don’t do it in the house. it will stink for days afterwards in that really bad fast food cheap whore house resturaunt type way. our back yard smelled kinda funky for a couple hours.

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