At left: A coffeepot. Cute enough, yes? Charming in an off-kilter way, like Johnny Depp in Benny & Joon, but with no special features other than the ability to contain and then dispense coffee.
Cost? Six hundred and twenty-five dollars. That’s American dollars, not Zimbabwean dollars.
I’m pretty sure “six hundred and twenty-five dollar coffeepot” comes right between “pestilence” and “famine,” although I would have to haul out the ol’ King James to double check.
I know, the post title isn’t very exciting or funny or clever. Don’t blame me, blame the three and a half hour meeting I had this afternoon. Don’t we go to work at non-profits so we don’t have to sit through three and a half hour meetings? You pay me less, I wear comfy shoes to work and don’t deal with meetings; that is the deal, no? Also this particular meeting was three and a half hours, did I mention that?
It is, therefore, not surprising that when I got home I wanted something quick, warm and nourishing (along with, of course, cheap). It took about ten minutes to toss together this fettuccine with ricotta and a big ol’ heap of swiss chard with garlic and chile.
If only I had eaten this for lunch instead, at least I could have punctuated the meeting with a couple of bathroom runs. Live and learn.
Apparently, judging from the number of participants we had this month, y’all don’t want to cook things you probably won’t like. Go figure.
Those of us who did try were uniform in our attempt to augment or disguise the hated ingredient with universally beloved cooking methods: (1) cover disgusting item in cheese; (2) cook disgusting item with cured pork product; or (3) fry disgusting item. I muddled through to produce some depressingly repellent pasta sauce with liver. Four other brave souls joined me:
If you’re going to go through the trouble of stuffing the WHOLE THING in, why leave out the giblets? Once you’re dealing with a 50-ounce can, it can’t be that much trouble to bump it up to 52.
Yeah, I know, some people pronounce it “OH-ffal.” I don’t. It’s punnier that way.
It’s the first Thursday, boys and girls. There’s a theme. There are rules. There’s an adorable random giveaway. I am making liver, and I HATE liver. So y’all better be making some grody shit, too.
Seriously: what the hell is this stuff? I read the name of this dish in the original poster’s caption, and I’m pretty sure this is a particleboard dresser I bought at IKEA in 1997.
Okay, depending on where you live, it might not really count.
But you should go do it anyway.
If you’re here looking for a sub-$5 meal idea, I have to be up front with you and say that I actually have no idea how much this dinner costs. Maybe you can do it for $5, maybe it costs $100, I don’t know. I just know that for me, it was cheap as free because it was made entirely of random food items that were sitting around and for which I had no plans.
Food items that, I might add, comprise some of my all-time favorite edibles: farro, winter squash, onions, cheese and hazelnuts. A warm, comforting, filling meal that resulted in enough leftovers to see me through the turmoil of election day. (I have high hopes that this year we’ll actually ELECT someone ON ELECTION DAY but Brian is not similarly convinced.)
Okay, maybe this is only nominally about food. But candy is food, right? It better be, because all I had for breakfast were leftover fun-size Nestle Crunch bars that someone brought into the office.*
Politics aside, I think we can all agree that the trees in this woman’s yard need a good TPing.
*Note to manufacturers: A full size candy bar is MUCH MORE FUN.