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This artisanal post was handcrafted just for YOU using the finest in locally sourced vocabulary on 24 Sep 2008, and is filed under the frig?.

I would not eat this in a boat, I would not eat it with a stoat.

It’s like the unreleased B-side to Morphine’s “French Fries with Pepper”:  Spaetzle with Jelly*.  It fits into the song structure and everything!  It’s now stuck in my head!  9-9-99, I hope I’m sitting on the back porch, drinking red wine, singing oooooh….spaetzle, with jelly.

Problem is, this is not that thing.

So what is it?  The frig?  Was this made on purpose, Code_Martial?

*“French Fries With Pepper” is a damn fine song, as is “She Don’t Use Jelly.”  i don’t know of any songs about spaetzle.

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19 Comments

  1. Carrie
    September 24, 2008

    It looks like scrambled eggs with strawberry jam. But that would be too easy.

  2. Zora
    September 24, 2008

    Yeah, scrambled eggs with jelly is all I’m getting. Red currant jelly? And _badly_ scrambled eggs, at that. Maybe fake vegan eggs?

    And I don’t think there are any songs about spaetzle because it only rhymes with pretzel, and “If you don’t feed the pets I’ll…” and I can’t really think of an emotional hook to pull all those elements together. But then I’m no musical genius.

  3. iamnotachef
    September 24, 2008

    Carrie beat me to it.

  4. Steve
    September 24, 2008

    Yellow rice with some sort of jelly?

  5. J.S.
    September 24, 2008

    I’m guessing grits, and the reason is I have NEVER seen grits (not alot of call for them in Canada I guess) and this looks like I imagine them. *sheepish*

  6. Julianne
    September 24, 2008

    I think you should have warned us that you were changing your layout. I don’t expect that everyone is as emotionally fragile as I am, however, when one of the blogs that I obsessively check suddenly has a new layout, and the links are in different places (which I understand is the point of a new layout), well, it can be kind of overwhelming.

    I happen to like spaetzle, and would like to point out that the German language, just sort of generally, is not melodic and doesn’t really lend itself to rhyming.

    I don’t know what the picture is, or what manner of jelled product is coagulating in the middle of it.

  7. Graham
    September 24, 2008

    Yukon gold potatoes run through a ricer? Topped with a raspberry jalepeno gelee? J.S. Do yourself a favor and become one with grits.

  8. Varmint
    September 24, 2008

    It’s my brain on drugs.

    Where do you find this shit? Do you spend hours searching Flickr streams?

  9. Jodi
    September 24, 2008

    Well that’s definitely jelly/jam of some sort. Trust me…I know jam. But the other stuff…just seems questionable. I’m hoping it’s a breakfast item of some sort…eggs? I wouldn’t like to eat those eggs. Some strange foreign pudding that is tasty with jam? Maybe it’s some sort of oatmeal? If this turns out to be fried rice and jam I might cry.

  10. Brian
    September 24, 2008

    Maybe raspberry jelly on top of some sort of fried cheese curd? Whatever it is, I would totally eat that with a stoat. Because I’m gross like that.

  11. kelley
    September 24, 2008

    steamed crab guts and jelly.

    yum…

  12. Court
    September 24, 2008

    Is it a corn casserole? I live in Oklahoma, and, yes, we actually have those things.

  13. michelle
    September 24, 2008

    js, i’m with graham, and that’s a feat – you have got to get some grits. with lots of butter, and cheese and black pepper. drool.

    julianne, sorry! i guess it’s too late to go back and announce it now, huh.

    varmint, sometimes i spend upward of 4 minutes a day looking for these. it’s exhausting.

    court, what’s wrong with corn casserole? corn is good, casseroles are good, why apologize?

  14. Allie
    September 24, 2008

    Holy lord. A pile of corn couscous, that has been stabbed, and left to stew in it’s own bloody death?

  15. PeterMarcus
    September 24, 2008

    When I was 6, I used to make grape jelly omelets from the Winnie the Pooh cookbook, but my eggs, even at 6, didn’t look like that.

    I’m guessing it’s the flag of Japan, realized in raspberry jam and smashed cauliflower.

    As much as I seriously admire Japanese cuisine, I could actually see this happening.

  16. Ryan
    September 25, 2008

    Is it some kind of mashed up curried cauliflower thing with some jam or pickle on the top?

  17. Fearless Kitchen
    September 25, 2008

    Um… while some tasty foods can look pretty awful… er… I’m trying to think of something positive to say here and it just isn’t happening. Ick.

  18. Matt
    September 25, 2008

    clearly eggs with some sort of jelly on top…which is almost so gross that I refused to answer!

  19. laura v
    September 30, 2008

    I dunno, I bet spatzle with jelly would be pretty tasty. I’d give it a try, any rate.

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