Thursday Night Smackdown

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This artisanal post was handcrafted just for YOU using the finest in locally sourced vocabulary on 20 Sep 2008, and is filed under the frig?.

Life is so much easier now…

…that I don’t have to go through the trouble of digging out a butter knife every time I want a peanut butter sandwich. You know how it goes: you want peanut butter, but you end up smearing it all over your forearms and the cat and then dropping the knife down the garbage disposal which ruins the disposal and that’s the FOURTH ONE you’ve had to replace this year and the peanut butter smeared all over the cat attracts coyotes who block your way to the car so you can’t get to Home Despot anyway and DEAR GOD WHY ISN’T THERE A BETTER WAY.

But first, congrats are in order to Varmint for being the first to correctly identify the Frig? as a Chicken of the Woods mushroom, as well as for his recently celebrated 1st blogoversary.

And now, the answer to your prayers:


God bless, MisterBisson.

Whew.

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28 Comments

  1. Graham
    September 20, 2008

    gross!

  2. Vicki
    September 20, 2008

    the frig? :)

  3. Gray Rat
    September 20, 2008

    HA! I’m at work, and one of the girls here (who in the past has not read your blog, but will now) just said “The frig?” upon seeing this product.

    Incidentally, I’m curious about the nutrition content of these things (as well as the ingredients that make PB a sheet that can be peeled from plastic.) Not that I would eat one…well, maybe on a dare.

  4. Manggy
    September 20, 2008

    On the other hand, there might also be some dessert applications… Imagine an inside-out PB roulade!

  5. Varmint of VarmintBites
    September 20, 2008

    This is the most friggity friggin’ frig of all that has ever frigged a frig in my friggin’ life. I fear for our friggin’ future.

  6. J.S.
    September 21, 2008

    Dear gawd…what will they think of next!?!

  7. Erin
    September 21, 2008

    That is absolutely absurd. I’m going to go eat a spoonful of peanut butter right from the Skippy jar in protest now.

  8. Rebecca (Foodie With Family)
    September 21, 2008

    Ew. I’m sending this link to my Dad. He loves peanut butter. He loves American cheese. But I really think this will horrify him.

  9. aforkfulofspaghetti
    September 21, 2008

    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

    So very, very, very, very wrong. And then wrong again.

    Do you hear me?

    WRONG, I SAY!

  10. michelle
    September 21, 2008

    grey rat, i don’t even want to know. note that no where on the package does it say this is actual peanut butter. it’s “PB” “peanutty slices.”

    the horror.

    JS, jelly slices, so we don’t have to get that knife dirty, either. god willing.

    forkful, wait, is it wrong?

  11. Bethan
    September 21, 2008

    That is horrifyingly disgusting! And my nephews & niece would be thrilled! (They’re LOVING the MREs we got here in Houston after Hurricane Ike.)

  12. Rowan
    September 21, 2008

    Seriously.. Half the fun is in licking the PB OFF the knife.

  13. The Irregular Goddess
    September 21, 2008

    The PERFECT culinary delight for those who suffer from the Pica condition!!!

  14. kristin
    September 22, 2008

    No. Just . . . NO.

  15. Miadelitala
    September 22, 2008

    Holy moley, that looks down right unnatural. Can we have an ingredients check on that one? Does it taste like normal peanut butter? Does the oil separate from the nutty stuff in the packet? Is it more PeterPan/Skippy/Jiffy-esque, or more whole-foody? I don’t know, that shite looks scary… it’s not even the right color for peanut butter. And let’s talk design issues: I would think a long skinny squeezable tube (of tin foil please! let’s not make anything else outta plastic) would work better than a flat short peanut butter package. I understand what they are trying to accomplish, but it seems like it needed a bit more figurin’ prior to release

  16. michelle
    September 22, 2008

    miadelitala, i think this is much rubberier in texture than you’re imagining, so the packaging isn’t an issue – it’s not meant to be spread. not that that makes anything better.

  17. Rachel (S[d]OC
    September 22, 2008

    It was a Chicken of the Woods mushroom? Isn’t that the mushroom I saw once on “Jamie At Home” that looked like some kind of alien life form that threatened to jump up and eat Jamie before the episode was over?

    Of course I scare easily, so if I’m afraid of a giant mushroom, you can bet I’m also a little afraid of PB slices. I can always lick PB off my forearm (or get someone cute to do it for me).

  18. lunettes
    September 23, 2008

    Rebecca:

    I used to eat peanut butter and american cheese sandwiches for my school lunch.

    They’re really good.

    :-)

    I’d be on these in a heartbeat if I had the money, ha.

  19. michelle
    September 23, 2008

    lunettes, i’m with you on the PB and american cheese: witness my favorite grilled cheese sandwich.

  20. Brittany
    September 23, 2008

    wrong.
    just plain wrong.

  21. Laura @ Hungry and Frozen
    September 24, 2008

    Coyotes? Hahahahahaha. Thanks for making me chuckle like crazy before work. Those slices look kinda sinister…Like you could hiff one at someone’s face and it would singe a square-shaped burn into their skin.

    Lovely new layout btw :)

  22. Melissa
    September 24, 2008

    =O

  23. Sophie
    September 25, 2008

    OMG. Those things are just freaky! It’s days like this that I’m so glad I’m separated from this sort of madness by a huuuuuuuuge great ocean

  24. Traci (Soup of The Day)
    October 1, 2008

    Is it a frig? I just thought it was a funny post.

    You’re a funny girl :)

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  26. [...] slices Via Thursday Night Smackdown Maybe I should be this lazy. Maybe I should chill my dinners out a little [...]

  27. [...] LINK [...]

  28. Dorothy
    October 14, 2008

    I loved your Oh My God! The Horror! description of making a peanut butter sandwich… which really captured the emotional impact of those TV commercials for various Things To Make Your Life Bearable. One of my favorites is the woman trying to separate her cooked pasta from it’s cooking water… a tragic, tragic situation UNTIL she bought one of those pots with holes in the cover! Choirs of angels rejoicing, etc., etc. Anyhow, I enjoyed this post. And I share the other posters horror about PB in a slice!!!!

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