Life is so much easier now…

…that I don’t have to go through the trouble of digging out a butter knife every time I want a peanut butter sandwich. You know how it goes: you want peanut butter, but you end up smearing it all over your forearms and the cat and then dropping the knife down the garbage disposal which ruins the disposal and that’s the FOURTH ONE you’ve had to replace this year and the peanut butter smeared all over the cat attracts coyotes who block your way to the car so you can’t get to Home Despot anyway and DEAR GOD WHY ISN’T THERE A BETTER WAY.

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Thursday Night Smackdown: Girlfriend in a (sugar) coma


My nuts are salty, yet sweet.

I had big plans for tonight. Big. Huge. I left work at a reasonable hour – 4:30! A train was leaving just as I got to the subway station. I was all set to get home around 5, scour the cookbooks for a recipe that would use up all my CSA tomatoes and tomatillos and the pork loin I had defrosting, smack it on down, and then make cupcakes for the admin assistants at my office who’ve proofread 300 pages of copy for me this week, because I am a fucking sweetheart.

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