September 2008
The Archives
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09.30.08My recipe cards bring all the boys to the yardThe time is upon us: The First Thursday in October. You know you want in. Instructions here. Prize is ubercute. I demand your orange foods, however you choose to interpret that command. I have a fever, and the only cure is foodstuffs related to the word "orange." Get crack-a-lackin'! Want the badge? Code after the jump. Continue Reading...
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09.29.08International House of Cheap Ass MondayAlternate Title: I'll dutch your baby anytime, hot stuff.* *Because a dutch baby is a kind of big, fluffy baked pancake often filled with apples. Not because I'm trying to come on to you. Although if I knew you, I'm sure I TOTALLY would. Continue Reading...
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09.27.08On a scale of 1 to 10, how chapped is my ass?GOOP: Hair gel, anal lube, slimy children's candy or heinous new Gwyneth Paltrow website? Probably all of the above. My ass chappage goes to 11, baby.* Continue Reading...
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09.25.08Thursday Night Smackdown: Don’t do this unless you want your house to smell really goodYou are cold-hearted poeple who enjoy reading about failure, so I was going to appease your horrifying bloodlust and go all Thomas Keller on your asses. On my ass. On someone's ass. Whatever, there was going to be food and probably horrifying failure. And ass. Lots and lots of ass. Continue Reading...
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09.25.08It’s my first time…be gentle.Sometimes scrambled eggs with jelly are just scrambled eggs with jelly. Plum jelly, to be precise. Not that I would ever want to eat those particular scrambled eggs, but I can't deny their inherent egg-ness. Continue Reading...
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09.24.08I would not eat this in a boat, I would not eat it with a stoat.It's like the unreleased B-side to Morphine's "French Fries with Pepper": Spaetzle with Jelly*. It fits into the song structure and everything! It's now stuck in my head! 9-9-99, I hope I'm sitting on the back porch, drinking red wine, singing oooooh....spaetzle, with jelly. Problem is, this is not that thing. Continue Reading...
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09.22.08Cheap Ass Monday: Dear Lord, it BURNSIt's not that I don't like spicy foods, it's just my heat threshold is low. Very low. Kind of like an infant, or maybe a puppy. Brian, on the other hand, has been known to eat actual fire for shits and giggles; his favorite hot sauce is called "Sweet Death" and every bottle comes with a skull keychain. (Clearly, I'm not in their marketing demographic.) Continue Reading...
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09.20.08Life is so much easier now…...that I don't have to go through the trouble of digging out a butter knife every time I want a peanut butter sandwich. You know how it goes: you want peanut butter, but you end up smearing it all over your forearms and the cat and then dropping the knife down the garbage disposal which ruins the disposal and that's the FOURTH ONE you've had to replace this year and the peanut butter smeared all over the cat attracts coyotes who block your way to the car so you can't get to Home Despot anyway and DEAR GOD ...
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09.19.08Thursday Night Smackdown: Girlfriend in a (sugar) comaMy nuts are salty, yet sweet. I had big plans for tonight. Big. Huge. I left work at a reasonable hour - 4:30! A train was leaving just as I got to the subway station. I was all set to get home around 5, scour the cookbooks for a recipe that would use up all my CSA tomatoes and tomatillos and the pork loin I had defrosting, smack it on down, and then make cupcakes for the admin assistants at my office who've proofread 300 pages of copy for me this week, because I am a fucking sweetheart. ...
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09.17.08The Frig? It’s a walk in the park, literally.I read the original poster's caption, and I'm still guessing daylily. Continue Reading...
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