The frig? Does anyone else see a pig snout in this?

As per my plan, you’ve all been snookered by the appearance of “bits” in yesterday’s Frig? Despite Minimally Invasive‘s most excellent response of “chopped up dentures in Greek yogurt” and the many people who thought they saw herring, what you were actually looking at was a vat of plain ol’ sour cream (well played, Traci!) that most likely sat next to these “nachos” in the buffet line.  Viva Las Vegas!

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Thursday Night Smackdown: Hurry, man, before there's still time.

When will smackdown get better?*

It’s sad, really, because any dinner was bound to be a let down after last night’s tomatogasm. I’m still reeling a little, and I spent the whole day cornering co-workers and forcing them to listen to me monologue about tomatoes as they nodded politely (the co-workers, not the tomatoes). Still, this dinner, taken from The New Best Recipe, challenged another one of my food prejudices: pad Thai.

It also made most of my block smell like fermented shrimp because I had all the windows open while I cooked, and for that I’m truly sorry.

*I’m trying, people, I’m trying. Actually, because I’m feeling a little lazy tonight, all captions are brought to you courtesy of insane googlers.

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You say tomato, I say to-WHOA, Nellie.

I would have invited you over for dinner, but I couldn’t find your phone number anywhere, I SWEAR.

I’m a little sad tonight, because I’ve just learned that I’ve wasted 30 years of my life not eating delicious, delicious tomatoes.

You see, I always thought I didn’t like tomatoes. Tomato sauce, sure (as long as there are no visible tomato chunks), tomato soup, okay, tomato ketchup, acceptable. But a whole, raw tomato? No, thank you, I’ll pass.

You can imagine how much this endeared me to my mother and nonna and zias.

As it turns out, I DO like tomatoes. A lot. What I DON’T like are the mealy, soulless, pale pink simulacra of tomatoes generally available in the standard American supermarket.

I didn’t know. Dear lord, I DIDN’T KNOW.

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The frig? I'm not mad, I'm just…disappointed.

Congrats to catnip and [eatingclub] vancouver js, who came closest to guessing yesterday’s Frig? with “raw dark chicken meat” and “thigh meat-type thing,” respectively.  Sadly, no one got the correct answer, which was ground turkey marinating in soy sauce, and not intestines covered in baked beans. Who knew?  I’ll never look at ground turkey the same way again.

But wait, some of you may be saying, someone “guessed” that!  Why have they been excluded from the adulation?

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The frig? Someone actually ATE this?

Congrats to Allison, who was the first to correctly identify yesterday’s Frig? as a moldy orange. Or, as the photo’s taker described it, “the booty end of an orange given to me by a co-worker.” A passive-aggressive co-worker who does not like her, apparently.

I was intrigued by how many people mistook the moldy bits for the fruity bits and guessed cantaloupe. Remind me never to eat cantaloupe at any of your houses.

In the interest of not scarring my home page and giving you time to prepare your visual cortex for the oncoming assault, today’s Frig? is below the jump. Because it? Is frigging gross.

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Cheap Ass Monday: You've got me all a-frittered

On Moishe, on Herschel, on Schlomo!

Joy of joys: a Cheap Ass Monday that does not revolve around beans as a source of protein! Yea, there is nary a legume to be seen here.

Okay, that is not technically true, as there are peanuts involved and it is in fact the case that peanuts are legumes and not true nuts. But shut up, because you know what I meant. Do I come to your blog and nitpick you?*

Tonight, in a slightly fancy-pantsier version of Cheap Ass Mondays, protein and fiber-rich whole grains and veggies come together in curried summer vegetable fritters with sweet chili sauce and a peanut-quinoa pilaf. Or, for the more humble minded among us, veggie latkes with quinoa. L’chaim!

*I might, but I probably have a VERY GOOD REASON.

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The frig? Because Dear God WHAT IS THAT THING?

This edible horror originally photographed and uploaded by Just Jefa.

Yes, it’s food. But what the hell is it?

There’s tons of delicious, lavicious food pr0n out there – Tastespotting, Foodgawker and dozens upon dozens of blogs with professional quality, gorgeous styling and photography.

But where is the hilarious? The grotesque? The truly unfortunate?

I got your grotesque right here, baby. Welcome to a new daily feature: The frig? And so I ask you:

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Wouldn't YOU like to know.

It’s not a question, it’s a statement.  You WOULD like to know.

I’ve been pondering some new content for TNS.  You know, to make it more of a hip, happening place where the kids will want to hang out when they’re not at the sock hop or the weenie roast.*  The Smackdown will always be the heart and soul, but I’m going to start adding some shorter daily content as well.

One of the new features I’m planning is 30-second, 5-question Q&As with foodie-type people – restaurant owners, chefs, bartenders, bloggers, the donut cart guy around the corner, and the like; I think I have enough contacts to shamelessly exploit that I can get to some pretty interesting people.  I already have some of the questions mapped out but wanted your input (this means you too, lurkers).  So:

  1. Is this something you’d even be interested in reading, or are you a sociopath who is oblivious to the interests and needs of others?
  2. If so, what would you want to know?  If you bumped into Thomas Keller on the street and he had time to answer one question for you, what would you ask?**

ALSO:  FIRST THURSDAY IS NEXT WEEK, PEOPLE. I could NOT have made it any easier for you, as it’s Labor Day here in the U.S. and the theme is “the grill.”  Fire it up, boys and girls.

*”Weenie.”  Heh.

** Note: “The fuck?” does not count as a valid question.  And NO, that’s not one of the questions I already have lined up.