Cheap Ass Monday: Down by the Boardwalk

Not actually on, near, under, or down by a boardwalk. I’m going to tell you right now: this post? Is not really funny. Feel free to leave if that’s a problem, and we’ll be back to our regularly scheduled programming later this week. As you can imagine, it’s been a bit of a rough weekend; ...

Thursday Night Smackdown: Not it.

There’s been a loss in my family, so I regretfully must announce the postponement of tonight’s smackdown. Go freeze yourselves up some beer to drown your sorrows.

ETA: Thanks for the good wishes, everyone, I really appreciate it.

Guess what this is. No really, guess.

It’s refreshing, light, fruity but tart, utterly irresistible. It looks so civilized, doesn’t it? Like something you would serve to the ladies who lunch when they come over for the garden party benefiting the foundation one of them started to purchase wheeled carts for paralyzed needy dachshunds. I almost don’t want to tell you what it really is, because I don’t want to damage my reputation as ONE CLASSY BITCH.

Cheap Ass Mondays: A Little Fancy, A Little Schmancy

Did I make this dinner just so I could gloat about my infinitely awesome egg-poaching skills? I may have. But maybe I ALSO made it so I could gloat about my willingness to make things painstakingly by hand – let us not forget the angel hair cucumbers – rather than relying on the modern conveniences that would hasten dinner’s journey to my table. Because I? Am better than you.

The Snozzberries Taste Like Snozzberries!

Fruit. We know it, we love it, it’s sweet and delicious. Peak season, ripe, luscious fruit needs no meddling to taste wonderful.

But there is one way to make even the most perfectly-formed fruit better: Soak the hell out of it in booze.

Thursday Night Smackdown: Maybe Fish Sauce Isn’t Entirely Evil

I mean, it may be a little evil; after all, it does smell like hot buttered ass. But it’s part of this Charred Lamb Salad from Jean-Georges Vongerichten – one of the furthest things from evil you can find – so it clearly has a silver, non-hot-buttered-ass lining.

The Big Stomach Wave Makes the Love

What does it all mean? Hell if I know. All of today’s captions are brought to you by the nutjobs who found TNS via google. This one’s for you, Mr. or Ms. “Upside Down Belly Button.” Really, what was this person looking for? “The big stomach wave makes the love”? Is it some grody thing ...