thursday night smackdown

Anyone who would like to donate a Nikon D70 is free to do so at any time.

Shrimp + garlic + good butter + red pepper + pasta = tasty and satisfying homemade dinner suitable for the I-don’t-feel-like-cooking-but-I-can’t-order-
any-more-Pad-Thai-takeout nights. You say you don’t have those nights? You’re never too tired or stressed to whip up a nutritious balanced home-cooked meal? To you I say, we are women of action. Lies do not become us.

Because of the lethal levels of garlic, whose cloves are not cooked nearly enough to lose their garlicky punch, this dish is best shared with a loved one so that your vile breaths will cancel one another out. If you don’t have a loved one with whom to eat mass quantities of garlic eat it anyway, because fuck ‘em. Or come over and eat it with me.

I’m passing the duchy on the *right* hand side.

If you have some sherry on hand (real sherry, not so-called “cooking sherry,” which besmirches the fine name of sherry), a splash of that would not be remiss. And you should have some on hand as part of your well-stocked pantry. It doesn’t need to be pricey.

Throw a simple green salad on the side and dinner is served, all in the time it took to cook the pasta. I dressed this one simply with sherry vinegar, good olive oil, salt and pepper, but that’s just me. Put it on a pretty white plate you just bought at Crate and Barrel for taking food pictures if you want to be fancy.

No-More-Pad-Thai Garlic Shrimp and Linguini for 2
1/4 box whole wheat pasta (you know, because you need to eat more fiber)
3 tbsp good unsalted butter (offset by the whole wheat pasta, so don’t worry)
8-10 cloves of garlic, although if you really loved me you would use more
2 good pinches crushed red pepper
1/3 c. sherry
1/2 pound shrimp, peeled and de-veined
s&p to taste

Set some water to boil for the pasta. As a watched pot never boils, busy yourself peeling and cutting up the garlic; smash the cloves with the flat blade of a knife to pop the skins off, then roughly chop. Add a bit of kosher salt while chopping to encourage the garlic to give up even more of its pungent oil. When the water comes to a boil, add the pasta and set a timer for the relevant cooking time. I’m neither a mind reader nor a fortune teller, so I don’t know what shape pasta you’re using.

Put a large skillet over medium/medium-low heat and add the butter; when it melts add the garlic and chili flake. Cook for 3-4 minutes, until the garlic becomes fragrant (but still smells strong). Add the shrimp and cook 2-3 minutes until they turn pink. Add the sherry, let simmer for a minute, then drain the pasta and add it to the shrimp pan. Toss to combine, and s&p to taste. Serve immediately.